Sadly that is so true , it’s not we ever think about until it happens . The only people who understand are the ones going through it
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I am so sorry.
My husband died in June.
It has been an incredibly difficult festive season.
The house has felt very strange and lonely.
I’m lucky in that I have two incredible sons. They’ve carried me through.
I still feel very, very fragile and lonely though.
It’s way more recent for you.
Keep going.
Bless you. It was just me and my cat too. My boys were both out.
It wasn’t as bad as I thought it might be.
Wasn’t great either.
Hugs x
No, not stupid. We are all so unprepared for this..the deafening silence of people doing their own thing and us, being alone and totally abandoned. I have lost two husbands in six years, the total shock of TWO has all merged together. What are we meant to do? I am told join clubs do this or that. I did the first time and it didn’t work. I don’t know what to do. Sending you a virtual whiskey and a hug Juliette
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My husband died on 8/11/25 and I asked his sister-in-law (his brother’s wife ) and daughter to the funeral. His brother died in September 2024. Since his death I kept in touch, invited her and her daughter round for meals, even though I am suffering from cancer and was looking after my husband who was on oxygen 24/7 and extremely sick. I rang her a week after my husband funeral and she told me she had never liked me. She said we should have spoken more about her husband at my husband’s funeral. She said she never wanted to see or speak to me again. It was so hurtful. I have been devastated. Fortunately I have three grownup children who support me and a lot of friends.
It has really sapped my confidence. We all seem to lose some friends as well as loosing our partners but I hope no one else has such a cruel response as I had.
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Yes, l have . I have lost two husbands and both times my adult children have treated me appallingly. I don’t know why, but twice is more than just a coincidence. I think people are just unfettered these days with things they say. You are very lucky to have real family and l would write her off as plain nasty. Sending you hugs and a kiss. I am still sad about my husband who died in February 2025. Think of you,not others. X
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Thank you. Sorry you had a bad experience with your adult children. I think you are correct, people don’t care what they say nowadays. Xxx
Losing two husbands must be awful. Sending you a virtual hug 
Good Morning All.
I have lost two partners as well and to be honest I sometimes feel so guilty crying over John who I was with two n half years and love of my life who passed in March last year and not over Peter who I knew for nearly 40 years and who was loving, comical and full of fun and who I loved as well.
It’s a strange one but I know that really it’s because I met John unexpectedly who helped me through it.
I’m lucky I have very close family and a good set of friends.
A few people might have not been as supportive but thinking about it, why should they be.? If I didn’t see them often before why would I expect them to be there after.
I can look at myself and realise that I’ve probably behaved the same way unknowingly.
I supported my mum in the loss of my dad after they had been together for 68 years but possibly not as much as I should have and that’s because I did not understand the impact of the loss of a partner.
Our emotions are heightened when we have lost our partner and maybe we don’t process stuff as we should.
Today is a crying day for me as it has been since New Years Day.
I thought I’d probably got over the worst and was doing so well, but no, it’s come back to bite really hard but I know it will go away again.
Grieving is a terribly tough thing to go through but it will ease in time…hopefully..
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@Juliette, thanks for sharing this lovely photo 
I just want to let you know that I have edited it slightly to protect your privacy, as it had your full name on it.
Take care,
Seaneen
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So sorry to hear it been nearly 2 years for me the pain of grief is still so raw I really miss my beloved so much I know exactly how you feel 
don’t worry you have people hear who will support you . People deserts you when you really need them . I understand your pain.
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What an appalling and hurtful response. Sorry to here you are having to deal with cancer. Its all so very hard. I hope your three children support you as much as possible. Take care x
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I also feel my sister-in-law must be grieving for her husband. I was really close to him and am grieving for him too, also my nephew who died in 2024. I wanted to support her as we lost our dear husbands who were brothers and such lovely men. I daren’t get in touch with her after what she said to me but I hate being out of friends with her after knowing her for so long. One of the reasons she gave for hating me was that I had once asked if her brother was Gay. He lived alone and I just wondered if he had a girlfriend or boyfriend. I had no idea that this was a “terrible “ thing to say, as far as she was concerned. You just never know what effect one is having on someone.
I must let it go I suppose…..
So so sorry. I too went through grief alone and it’s so so hard. I think that’s when you realise who truly is your friend. Going by my experience, I have none. I rely on me now
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There is a saying that my late wife always preached to me , “Two Wrongs don’t make a Right”
Make your approach, get in touch, you will feel that at least you have made an attempt to rebuild the relationship with your Sister in Law
Good luck
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So true it’s been nearly 2 years since my beloved passed no-one out side the family has even asked how I am except for work colleagues. It’s times like these that you realise who friends are and like you I have none.
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Hello, so very sorry for your loss. Most people say to wait a year before doing anything. I found at six months I still felt numb and definitely felt very emotional. Have you been informed about the Bereavement Allowance?
I would suggest you make a three year plan. My husband also died unexpectedly of cardiac arrest aged 63. Our daughter had two more years of Uni then we were planning on restoring our grade II listed railway station. I had a teeny Teacher’s pension and had to wait for probate - then discovered I would also have a six year wait for my state pension. I went from comfortably off to a pauper almost overnight. We were oil and my aunt sent me money towards it, we had to order 600 litres at a time. The oil tank developed a leak and I had to spend £4k relacing it the first few months after my husband’s death. Absolutely awful, I remember trying to get the top back on the new one in a hail storm - my husband had always checked the levels.
We had converted the Waiting Rooms into a tiny self catering - but the builders had used plastic paints and the wrong plaster, huge damp problem appeared just after my husband died so I couldnt get any money through booking customers.
After a hellish two years I went on the market. Masses of time wasters quoting ‘too much work’ - then a dreadful developer tried his luck. Just a chancer trying to rob me - I withdrew from the sale and went to auction. Guess who bid the most? I had to accept, my freedom was priceless. Very very stressful two years, I would wait until you are stronger. Good luck
You have been through a terrible time. All that financial stress as well as grief. Hope all is going well for you now.