I’m not able to look at photos of my mam yet, but im thinking of looking at photos of her when she was younger so i can forget that she was so poorly at the end. This is also making me anxious though. Has anyone else felt like this?
If you havent looked at any photos yet i can understand you might feel anxious about whether it will be upsetting. We collated a lot of photos for the funeral - i wasnt anxious about this but i did notice it prompted almost a new type of grief - as i looked at those younger photos i realised just how poorly mum had got, and i started to mourn the gradual loss of the person she had been - so just be aware you might find the same. But overall it was still comforting - i found i had a lot of dreams about mum after looking through the photos, and she was often much younger in the dreams (no grey hair) 
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I know what you mean but if it helps me dream about her I think it will be some kind of comfort. I’m exhausted just thinking about it
Thanks for replying
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I pressed reply too soon xx
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Hopefully it will help you to revive some of those more positive memories. Im sure it will be bittersweet, but i view it a bit like weighing scales - putting something positive on to counterbalance all the sadness and pain that weighs us down
I’ve been looking at photos of mum on my phone this afternoon while I was working at home. The last photo I took was a couple of days before she died in hospital, have been getting a bit emotional xx
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I can still only look at pictures of dad as a youth. Anything else sends me into deep anxiety. So you can try with very early pictures and see how it feels and work your way up in time according to the level of anxiety.
Ps. If you have pictures from the time she was ill, be cautious with those. It can be hard to see just how bad it was, because you don’t notice it at the time.
Thanks @Ulma
I know exactly what you mean
we have a family WhatsApp group that’s got some really old photos on that I can look at but anxiously. I’ve got some of mam in hospital on my phone, she was in 12 weeks but I can’t bare to look at those even though she’s smiling. I think I’m getting anxious about mothers day as well. I’ve bought her a card to put with mine off my daughters 
Take care
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I remember the first Mother’s day after losing mum. 
Do what feels right that day, a card sounds lovely, and be kind to yourself.
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One of the first things I did and wanted too, I felt compelled too. Mum had loads of photo albums like 10. So I bought two new big albums to convert all the photos too. I’ve no way near finished the process my mum passed August last year and photo albums still sit on the table. But I needed stuff to do and I wanted a legacy to my mum. We did share a lot of memories together and I do want to treasure those memories, it does mean something to me you know.
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It’ll be lovely when it’s finished, such a treasured memory for you
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I feel the same about photos. I cant look at pictures of my mum as the pain hits me - it makes me so sad as I’ll never see my beautiful person again. She died 3 months ago. Seeing my dad is so sad too as i expect her to walk in the room and be there with him. I have carried on with work which keeps me very busy but on the days I dont work - like today - the reality hits me and i feel panicky that I really will never see her again.
Sending supportive hugs to everyone today. Its sooooooo hard isn’t it.
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