Saw my doctor today and he’s put me on antidepressants. Not sure if they will help but willing to try I can’t go on like this. I’m crying all the time and just feeling so low. Jim would not want me to be like this he would be so cross with me but I can’t seem to snap out of it. Also I’m now got OCD doc said its because of stress. It takes me a good 30 minutes to get out of door I have to keep checking that everything’s off then double check then I check doors locked about 50 times it’s ridiculous . I thought I was going mad till doc said its normal to feel like I do. Just hope pills work soon
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How long ago did your husband die Misprint. Mine died eleven months ago and I feel as if it was yesterday. We can’t lose the best person in our lives and be okay. I’m taking antidepressants. Propranolol and sleeping tablets. They do help you cope better but they don’t take away the loss they take the edge off and will help you cope. They won’t work immediately. Give them time. Keep posting. You will be in my prayers x
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Hold tight, Misprint - and know that you are stronger than you think you are. Seeing the doc and getting help is a smart move - well done. You don’t have to snap out of anything, you need to feel better and this takes time. Go with it, be kind to yourself - Jim would want you to be, I am sure. I am going to make a quick coffee - will you have one with me virtually? We are with you, Misprint - keep posting, we are here for each other. x
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Thks vancouver kettle on and sticky bun
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Hi misprint
I started my antidepressants two weeks ago for anxiety and depression. I didn’t really want to go on them but two weeks in and so far so good. No bad side effects apart from feeling a bit more tired and losing my appetite a bit. Just in the last few days have started to feel better, not so anxious, not tearful and I feel my mood has lifted a bit.
I’m on sertraline.
Hope you get on with them ok and start to feel better soon.
Xx
I feel like crying. So I am 
Hi Barbara61
My doctor also prescribed sertraline for me after I lost my partner of 40 years in December. I haven’t taken them yet because worried about side effects but after reading what you said I might start to. My low mood is so depressing and overwhelming feelings of loneliness, despair, anxiety is still very much with me. I am glad they are helping you , how long did it take for you to notice the difference? Take care Anne
I have been on sertraline since my husbands death in November. I wasn’t keen as I had been on them a few years ago and had managed without them for a number of years . However I knew enough about them to realise they would help with the anxiety and depression I was feeling. The first 2 weeks or so were a bit hairy: I felt worse. This however is normal . Since then things have settled down . They don’t make things better or go away but yes they do take the edge off things enabling me to function on a day by day basis and even enjoy some things. So give them a try and hopefully they will help you to at least get some sort of life back even if it’s not the life you wanted . X
Hi Anne
My daughter has taken these for a while and has helped her a lot with her anxiety. She warned me about the side effects in the first week or so and is surprised how well I’ve been so far. Dr warned me that I might actually feel worse in the first week before they start to work. He said it takes about 3 weeks to fully build up in you.
I’ve taken them 2 weeks and I noticed a few days ago that I was feeling a bit better.
I’ve had a quiet week hardly been out the house and apart from a couple of neighbours and my daughter haven’t seen anyone. Normally I would be feeling really down and tearful but I haven’t although it is still awful being so lonely I seem to be coping with it a bit better.
Even if you do get side effects just stick with them because they will help eventually.
Good luck xx
Thankyou Barbara for replying, I will see how I’m feeling over next week or so but I certainly will keep them as an option if I feel I need the extra help. Its so hard this road we’re on isn’t it , I wish you all the best and you are not alone , that’s one thing that’s opened my eyes the number of people who are grieving as we are , its so sad but oddly gives comfort that I am not alone on this path , there does seem to be light at the end of the tunnel by what I have been reading , it just takes time and for us individually to adjust to our new way of life , my thoughts and support are with you Barbara. xx
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Hi Anne
It is a long painful journey isn’t it ? My doctor said it was like being in a long tunnel but at some point there will be light at the end and although we will still feel sad at times it will be the point of acceptance. I feel like I’m a bit stuck at the moment.
I said my tablets are making me tired. Last two mornings haven’t woke up until after 9. By the time I pulled my self together had a cuppa and got ready the morning was nearly over !!
Take care xx
How are you Vancouver?You were the first person to contact me when I first came on this forum.You were very kind and helpful.I don’t have much to say at the moment as I’m having a really sad day and just want to be able to get some sleep.
I hope you are ok,I have been thinking about you.x
Hello @Pushkin28, I have just seen your message. I am in France at the moment- sorting out my husband’s affairs here. He feels really close here, which is lovely- though I miss him so much. I hope you are getting enough sleep- that I find makes such a difference. Here I am again, awake at 04:00 - feeling exhausted bur sleep eludes me. How are things there? I know about the sad days. I had one yesterday. Things grind on, don’t they? I feel up, then down, all the time. If you use my @Vancouver name, I will get your messages more easily. Let’s keep talking and supporting each other, my friend.
Hi Vancouver,
I’m glad you are able to get out and about,although I know what you are doing isn’t a pleasurable task.
Sleep is elusive for me too,my worst times are going to bed alone and getting up knowing I’m the only one in the house.
It’s nine weeks since Malcolm died and I still have a sense of disbelief,do you think that is normal?His death was very sudden and completely unexpected.
We went through lockdown together and I had to idol myself from everyone but Malcolm as I have some very serious health issues.The result is I now suffer from agoraphobia and don’t feel at ease with anyone.
I hope you manage to get your husband’s affairs sorted out in France and I’m glad you feel close to him there.
Let me know how you get along,thinking of you and everyone else on here.It is certainly the worst loss I have ever suffered and I’m sure I am not alone feeling like this.
Take care,sending love to you and everyone,we all need that.xx
Hello there,
It is all one big struggle, isn’t it? From getting up in the morning, to drifting around the supermarket wondering what to buy, to sitting alone in a silent house. I am hoping that I can sell my husband’s business tomorrow. It has gone a bit wrong since his death in January and I am so worried about it. A buyer seems very keen - the priority is secure the jobs for the team. I hope I can get there. I know my husband would be proud of me for getting this far with it all. It is completely outside my comfort zone - but it has to be done. This loss is the worst loss I have suffered, for sure. The aching sadness, has peaks and troughs, but is there all the time. I am here in T’s apartment in France. Was out at a dinner last night and I was talking about it and said it was his. One of the others at the dinner said " ah - but it is yours now" and I felt really sad and sick. In my mind, it will always be his and me a guest, looking after it for as long as I can. I still feel him near me - but I wish I could hear his voice, feel his touch, hold him tight. That this will never happen again is so hard to bear. Take care, there @Pushkin - stay safe and let’s keep in touch xx
It is the worst pain I could ever imagine Vancouver…if pain could kill I would be dead a thousand times over.What was out home is now mine,even his clothes are mine…It the thought of never seeing him again…It pervades every element of our lives doesn’t it…even our “friends” are mine but it’s surprising how some have drifted away.
You must be a very strong person sorting out business affairs.I find even shopping difficult without Malcolm.It has been such a long time weeks without him and though I try to live in the here and now thoughts of the future without him weigh heavily.
You take care too.x
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