I’m so so sorry for moaning.
I am going through hell to the extent I can not function properly, it use to be a lot of grief for sometime then it would ease. I was a person who depended on my partner, I often asked for stupid things like do you still love me. Now all my questions are blocking my natural thoughts and yes I can still ask but I would get no answer. I’m afraid really afraid, I cannot cope now with simple things in fact I’m spending on Amazon as a distraction method and the outcome of that is I’m short of money and not being able to buy adds to my grief. I have developed an aching like restless legs but all over my body. This morning I had to get up 3-20 am because I woke with this it comes in waves and makes you stiffen your joints for a couple of minutes relief. You se what I mean I’m really really messed up big style. I cannot stand this as it’s soul destroying for me. I miss my partner more than life itself and it’s just over 12 weeks. Like I said I’m sorry for moaning. Bless you all.
David
Please don’t be so hard on yourself. Grief and loss are devastating. My husband Roger died in September 2024 and I cry for him every day and I miss him every day. You are not alone
Kate
Ty Kate it just feels the world is against you.
But Katie its really not as easy as that. Point 1. I did not no what my partner had as she told no one. I was to in hospital with an abscess on my spinal column and disckitus also mental health issues as well as heart troubles. My partner was phoning me from hospital to hospital for 10 weeks 2 days it’s when I got home a day after her niece phoned me to say my partner is losing a lot of weight, I told her I new of that. She said she was going away for the weekend. Half an hour later she phoned again to say I don’t think she would last that long I was shocked she said she was coming down to pick me up. In the meantime partners sister phoned to say pack some clothes you’re coming up to stay with me. I did and partners niece came and picked me up. Got to hospital and as soon as partner saw me she smiled I kissed her hand so hard. Her brother came with his girlfriend and started to try and take over the situation. My partner was slipping into a deep sleep. He began filming and telling people where to sit. He then said action at which I said stop it have respect to which he never heard or ignored. I was told I was staying with partner I did not mind that at all. I was holding her hand instead of taking my medication and when I noticed I was taking really strong pain killers twice over and after 2 days of repeating that I started hallucinating and seeing things. The niece got me removed and I was taken to a ward , they thought with me missing medication and then doubling up I had a breakdown with worrying to about partner. I never saw her pass. And her family would not talk to me , I to this day don’t no why. I was msg on the day of the funeral. My partner new I could not travel on busses that far. They never offered. Now I’m the black sheep. I have not one person to talk to and I mean no one friends anyone. Now you can se why I feel the way I do. Was nice to talk and get it all out of me. Blessings to you