My husband died a year ago next Monday. We were together for 45 years and were only just starting the retirement phase of life.
Whilst he was in hospital for a serious op, he was not expected to die. I wasn’t with him when he died as he went into crisis on a Friday night and died early Saturday morning. My phone was on silent as I was not on high alert and so missed the calls to say that he was in trouble. Maybe this is partly why I find it so difficult to believe he’s gone. Just feels like a really bad joke!
People keep telling me that I’m doing really well but what does that even mean!
3 Likes
Hello LesleyBee so sorry for your loss I’m told I’m doing really well it’s nearly 11 months since my husband passed but they don’t understand how your feeling deep inside the pain the grief you carry around missing your lived one they mean well but just don’t understand you take care
1 Like
People are so quick to tell you how well you are doing! It’s just over a year since I lost my Keef and although I was there at the end I still have days when I can’t believe he’s not going to walk through the door. I sometimes think that people say that to us because it gives them permission to not have to help anymore. I do socialise but usually put on a brave face so as not to upset people, but once I’m home alone with my cats it’s a very different story. Take care and we all have to deal with this dreadful situation we find ourselves in and unless someone has experienced this themselves they can’t possiblt understand.
2 Likes
Hello @LesleyBee and @Jennison1946
Next Sunday it will be 19 months for me.
I don’t even know how that is possible.
It could be 19 days.
I’m so sorry for you both . Our grief is all so personal , but we do share understanding.
The loneliness is immense, and just seems to intensity, as time goes by, as others think we are doing well, or as others think we should be.
I’ve had a tough weekend, Friday was the anniversary of two friends ( one 8 years ago and the other one a year ago)
The weekend has been so lonely without my husband to share in the sadness of these two anniversaries
As all the time I’m just missing my husband’s presence and wise words so so much.
Love , hugs and strength to you both
2 Likes
Cathphil do hope your ok it’s just never-ending I try to keep myself busy as much as I can but like you and most people on this forum the week days are bad but weekends are terrible I also miss my husband so very much I’m trying to do a scrapbook about him at the moment from when we met getting married etc but it’s so hard getting his photos out for the scrapbook he looks so happy and well in them all and I have to stop because it upsets me too much but I’m determined I’m going to finish it sending you hugs and you take care
1 Like
1 Like
That’s such a lovely and brave thing to do
I have photos all over the walls in our little front room.
I see his face smiling at me all the time.
It helps me, I feel him all around me, and it keeps him close to me.
Love , hugs and strength to you
1 Like