One year anniversary

Today by day is the first year of losing mum, suddenly, unexpectedly. Spoke to her the night before, she, as usual was telling me off for doing too much and doing to much running around for her and dad. Remember telling her to stop being silly, I was ok and would pick her up at 12.30pm Tues afternoon to take her to the eye hospital then I’d head off to the hairdresser’s and come back for her.

Little did I know that would be the last conversation we had, dad phoned me at 10am the next day to say mum was on the floor , stock still and he couldn’t move her.

In a flash, a DVT and massive heart attack took her in a nano second.

It’s the way she would’ve liked to go but not for us, no chance to say goodbye, no time to say I love you.

In an instance I lost mum and became alone in caring for my dad, who 4 days earlier received the diagnosis of advanced Vascular Dementia… I feel I’ve fallen on a double edged sword… Grieving for mum and watch dad deteriorate weekly.

I very much welcome the regular bereavement texts from Sue Ryder :disappointed_relieved::broken_heart::heart:


Hello Flos,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I’m so sorry to hear about your mum. Anniversaries can feel extra hard, especially when you are also coping with your dad’s illness, it must feel overwhelming at times and I wanted to share some support options for you.

We have an article with suggestions on how to cope with death anniversaries at Remembering a loved one: death anniversary | Sue Ryder if it would be a help.

We also have a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I don’t know if you are getting any support with caring for your dad, but the below might help?

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.

Take care, Rhi

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