Dear Sheila and jules4. I have just been out in the garden the grass is up to the top of my boots I haven’t had the incentive to cut it but have got the Strimmer out to do it am now sitting at the table crying my eyes out peter always did the grass and I am finding it hard to do all these things like seeing to the car it needs servicing. Getting a new wheel as had puncture all these things I now have to do. Sorry I must sound like a right moaner. X
No you don’t sound like a moaner - I get it. I am trying to work up some sort of motivation to do my grass - again, my husband used to do it most of the time. I can do it but I have back issues and he always wanted to protect me. That’s the scary part - I have no one to protect me now.
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@Sheila26
I feel the way you do i was with my Marti for 27 years, not as long as you but he was my everything, my days were great because I had him, he made me strong but I am like you, a shell now he’s gone.
I needed no one and nothing else in my life, I just wanted him and I yearn for him every day. He would make me laugh every day and I was so happy with him by my side. Everything I do is not the same, I have no joy like I did with my Marti.
It’s a daily struggle.
Some people say distract myself by going swimming, yoga, evening classes and go for a walk, but I can’t do it, I struggle, I feel safer indoors.
Nothing is the same without my Marti. I’ll be amazed if I can cope with the rest of my life without him.
So sorry but I’ve had a terrible week, but I know you understand my pain.
Amy x
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Your words echo exactly how I feel. I used to hope for a long life together so that we could just enjoy being together. Now a long life would seem like a prison sentence. I just don’t understand life. Why split up the very couples who want to be together and happy?
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Dear @Sheila26 and @Jules4,
I just wanted to say that I totally agree with your comments about your husbands being the sources of your strength. I used to consider myself a reasonably strong person too, but I never quite realised, until it was too late, that I drew ALL of my strength from my wife. With her by my side I felt I could achieve anything I needed to do. Now everything is just so pointless. My wife was my entire universe and I thought (and hoped) that we would have at least another 10 or 20 years together. I still haven’t accepted that she’s gone, the reality is just too painful.
Nowadays I’m just a sad, depressed, frightened, demotivated mess, and I can’t ever see that changing.
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You and me both.
Take care.
Dear Amy
It really is a struggle. No need to apologise. Life is tough.
I was never one for hobbies. We did everything together sharing the gardening tasks between us and Thursday had become our funny weekly ritual of sweeping and dusting through our little bungalow. I only worked part-time and so spent all my free time with my husband. I keep myself distracted by going out with the grandsons, but the reality is that as the lockdown eases the boys and their mummy will need to get out and about with like-minded families and have days out when my son is not at work. I have attempted to go out by myself but to be honest I feel like a fish out of water and so lonely and so I prefer to just sit in the house.
I really wish I could see a way forward but I can’t - not without my husband.
Dear Alston56
I have no motivation whatsoever. There is no point in looking after the house let alone myself. Like yourself I had anticipated 10+ years of a wonderful life with my husband, even if just sitting together doing nothing. Being with him was all that mattered to me.
I totally understand and share how you are feeling and also cannot see how this will change. I find myself questioning everything - at least when my husband was here I could share my thoughts, fears or ideas and get his re-assurance - now nothing.
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I feel the same way about my partner. It’s been 3 weeks today and I feel so alone.
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Dear FeelingAlone
I am so sorry for your loss. Emotions will be so raw at this time and you are probably still suffering from the shock of everything.
Others on this forum will understand some of what you are going through and will offer support. Please keep posting or even reading other posts as it helps to understand that the emotions you will be feeling are all part of the dreadful journey we find ourselves on.
Take care.
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I am so sorry for your loss. You will feel a rollercoaster of emotions which, unfortunately just continue. You are not alone though - people on this site understand as unfortunately we are all going through something similar. Post here as often as you need and somebody will respond. Sending hugs
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If they experienced loss such as ours they would be even angrier. We have every reason to be. Before my wife’s departure 3 months ago, I was grateful for what I have: a soulmate for 32 years, a loving relationship with her tried by storms, a mature and smart teenage daughter, a stable life, a respectable job which I enjoyed doing. We were in the last stage of planning our retirement in Taiwan in 2022. We were also doing voluntary work to help people know more about COVID…
Then next moment she was snatched from me, from our daughter who regarded her as her best friend, in a matter of hours. My life and family are devastated. What do they expect?
friends if you feel better locking yourself up, feel free to do so. It’s no time to please others. Talk only to those you trust and who care…be nice to yourselves.
Bank holidays seem to bring more sorrows for us than anything else.
I feel the same way as you ladies. I lost my husband a year ago. I feel like I’m stuck in my grief. I want to cry for some release but it won’t come
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Hi everyonewveryone’s feeling. I lost my husband to
Hi, I know how your feeling. I lost my husband just over a year ago to Acute leukemia, we would have been celebrating our 50th wedding anniversary this year. Then 6 months after my loss my son in law died. I wish some times that I would not wake up in the mornings, then all the pain would have gone. The days and night are so long when your on your own. Life is so unfair for us who have lost a loved one. People keep telling me it does get better over time ,but honestly at the moment I don’t see that.
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Jobar
I have to put my mask on for work (that’s what I call it anyway) but I have the opposite people say you look like your doing OK, what they don’t see is when I’m home and a complet mess. I have no motivation I don’t want to cook and keep getting take away which I need to stop. But where I work I can’t go I sad as I work with special need young adults. So when staff say you look fine makes me feel Iike I don’t care, when it’s the complete opposite, at night I just cry, I’m so sad all the time. Dawn
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I was told that they were sorry I’d lost my husband. I should get a dog! Some people just don’t know what to say I think. But some people just don’t think do they? X
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