It really doesn’t help that it is also, apparently, the most depressing time of the year
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Yeh exactly they said that didnt they ! Tell you what though there were loads of people about in our village with the snow and ice today ! It was like pucadully circus ! Lol x
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Good morning @Walan ,
Thank you for your kind words, which all make perfect sense now that it’s another day, although yesterday the grief made me feel physically ill.
I’ve picked up a lot of the pieces of my life, put my smile on and got back out there, but so much of the purpose has just disappeared.
I hold onto the fact that I have a wonderful family and my daughter lives very close to me-she has been my rock, especially when my husband was so ill.
I particularly liked your analogy of the unwanted guest, that even raised a small smile.
Thank you and take care of yourself.
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Hello JanT iam the same i picked up pieces a bit at a time, but the feeling thatvthere is no point in doing anything. Iam here to talk/ listen if you want to do so…
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Martin56, thank you for your response, it’s another day and my complete sense of hopelessness has left me, thank goodness !
On the whole I’m a very positive person and while I often had a weepy day the horrendous feelings, after 12 months, came out of nowhere !
This forum is a wonderful way of getting support but also putting things in perspective, I’m glad that I found it.
Take care, JanT
Its fine your very welcome, my loss is quite recent as in November. I cry a lot from time to time last night was really bad just out of nowhere at all i hate this feeling of just nothing.
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Martin56
I’m so sorry to hear that Martin and I commend you for actually putting words down when your loss is so recent.
I do hope you have a strong network of family and friends to call on when it’s really tough. The first few months seem rather a blur now to me-you’re so busy with all of the practical stuff that you have to do that self care often takes a back seat !
Thinking of you and likewise, if you need an ear I’m available.
JanT
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Hi JanT my hubby passed away October 2022 and like you had all the “Firsts” I made the effort to see family and friends even though at times I felt it was all on my part and like you I also did volunteering at my local Age Concern which did help me getting out through the daytime as I truly find the nights absolutely awful which has changed me as I feel that bleak loneliness which makes me think and think of the days when I took care of my hubby as he had Lewy Body Dementia with Parkinson’s and the most nightmare of it all is that I did not loose him bit by bit as he was still classed as having full mental capacity just before loosing him I lost him through my local hospital due to leaving him with a broken hip for 3 weeks then total neglect long story to it all but I truly believe if it was not for all that total lack of care on their behalf he would still be here today so not only is my grief eating away at me the anger I feel towards them is unbelievable and it keeps coming back whenever so it feels like I hit a brick wall when sometimes least expected 
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Aw … thats really awful for you ;( have they done an investigation ? You can complain and they have to do an investigation you know … my husbands care i feel was below parr too … and not quick enoug. Its so sad isnt it ? But we cant bring them back thats the problem. You rage at the hospital ! You have every right xx
Woman-50
That sounds absolutely horrendous and if I was in your position yes, I’d definitely keep fighting, you need to do this for both your sakes.
The group I volunteer with is a dementia group my husband attended and I hear of terribly tragic cases too. I still think that, while there are some areas that do offer amazing support for both dementia sufferers and their carers (and mine is one of them) equally so there are so many that don’t and this inequality has to change.
I do hope you’re getting as much support as you possibly can, both for yourself and your fight .
Take care of yourself too as you’re going to need all of your strength to get through this , but your late husband definitely deserves to have his voice heard .
Sending love and a hug,
Jan
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Thanks Deb5 yes a big investigation has been underway since it happened and the thing is they actually have admitted to it mind by my report I sent in they could not have done otherwise and I feel for you also if you have had to go through the neglect in duty of care as it is very sad that in this day and age this is happening to people whom put their faith in a system that is supposed to be caring for those who need care and attention.
That is exactly how I feel more than a right to rage at them especially as you say because we cannot bring them back Take care 
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That is exactly what I am doing this for both of us plus actually other people who may go through the same thing as the system needs to change it used to be called the caring profession but in this specific hospital that seems to have been totally lost as I have been told some bad things from others also and I plus other members of my family refuse to be treat there yes definitely trying to keep my strength up because of this exact reason for my hubby’s voice to be heard.
Thank you and take care also
love and hugs Susan xx
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No its not just thar paticular hospital … its all iver the place ! We had a big investigation too !! Xx
Good for you getting an investigation done Deb5 people have to start speaking out and yes your right it is different hospitals but I should have said I was referring to my home town soz haha xx