To say the heartache has lessened since my husband passed away would be a lie. The grief has it’s own space in my heart, formerly a place where I could once laugh without a care and feel real joy.
Now, I wear a mask, showing everyone that I’m fine and that I am ‘dealing really well with things”.
I’m not you know. Now I cry when no-one can see me and the pain in my heart pulses all day in contrast to the fake smile on my face.
It was not meant to be like this. You and I were supposed to grow old together, travel, explore and see our son find his path in life.
Dear Lonelyplanet, I am so sorry to hear that you are still suffering so after a year. My lovely wife died on Christmas day after two years of cancer treatments. We met at 18 and had almost reached our 40th wedding anniversary. I try to concentrate on the how lucky I have been to have loved and been loved by such a lovely sweet thing. How many people haven’t been so lucky. I really hope you find some peace and comfort soon.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
Thank you Tom @Brandon1 for your kind words. I’m sorry to hear about your wife, your words show the love you have for her.
Cam and I were together for 24 years and his death was completely unexpected. Yes, I was really lucky to be loved by such a kind hearted man and sometimes the grief tells me otherwise - that I didn’t deserve him. I have a lot of guilt around this.
Hi Lonelyplanet, I’m really sorry that you have these issue that stop you from coming to terms with your bereavement. I’m sure that you must have loved him deeply to be in this situation you find yourself in now and if that is the case your loved one wouldn’t want to see you suffering. Have you tried seeing a therapist to work though your feelings.
I really hope you find some peace soon
Wishing you all the best
Tom
Dear Lonelyplanet, it’s nearly three years since my husband passed, to me it was yesterday and I’m sure this is how you feel too. We get good and putting a smile on our face and carrying on, but it’s ok to be sad , it’s okay to cry, it’s also okay to remember to laugh and to enjoy life as much as possible, we know more than most that tomorrow is not promised , we have just got to carry on as best we can, be kind to yourself
Thank you @Jan23, I’m sorry to hear about your husband too.
You’re right, putting a smile on my face is easy but I get so tired mentally. I’m having therapy and taking antidepressants but sometimes the grief breaks through, especially when I’m alone.
Hi lonely planet, I feel the same. Its one year today that my darling husband soulmate of 46 years passed away too from cancer diagnosed two years ago. Hurts so bad. Take care
