One Year On

Dear All

Well, it’s now coming upto a year since my beautiful mum only 72 suddenly fell ill and went into hospital. I can’t believe the changes to our whole family since that day. At times I feel overwhelmed with grief but in next breath due to my new full time caring responsibility for my dad another part of me takes over. Gosh I miss my mum so so much and it’s so so hard, I feel so much I can’t off load that to my own family (I’m an only one) so only have my own 3 teenage children and my husband and my grief stricken dad who now lives with me following mums death.
I’m finding news so hard to listen to as well at the moment, everting revolves around Covid understandably, however my gut feels with emotions to all that have lost loved ones during the pandemic, who endured the same restrictions to be with them at the most critical time needed. I Coahuila only see my mum through a window for the 2 weeks she was unwell, and we all expected her to have her operation and come through to continue to live her life… and it didn’t happen. So now life is different, my mums gone, I have to be her and me for my dad to ensure he’s safe we’ll and happy, I’ve had to sell their house, build an annex etc… all around being a mum of 3 teenagers and hold down a job! When does all this get a bit easier?

Sorry for any typos I was crying when I posted this x

Hi Claire

I dont know when life gets easier. My mum died of a sudden brain hemorrhage almost 2 years ago. I dont have my dad to worry about as he died 20 years earlier, but I have a 14 year old to look after, a full time job, the house and everything. And the person who would have been there to help me in life and help me through by laughing, supporting, being company etc has gone.
Its really tough. My mu was having an operation and for an unknown reason suffered a bleed on the brain in the recovery room and never came home…so a bit similar to you. I guess having a full time job and a child is actually a saving grace. Without them, I probably wouldn’t get out of bed some days.
We will get there.

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Hi there,
I have just joined this page due to needing some help grieving. I lost my dad last February due to cancer and nearly 1year and half on I’m still struggling to accept the fact he’s gone. I put on a brave face and just get on with day to day life but just miss him lots. My mum now lives with myself and my fiancé and daughter as after my dad passed away 6weeks later my nana died. I hope you’re doing ok xx

Hi Cheryl,
So sorry to hear about your mum. I’ve just joined this page due to losing my dad last February and struggling to accept the fact hes gone. I put on a brave face but it would be nice to speak to others who have lost a parent xx


Happy to chat. My mums 2 year anniversary was last week and I still cant believe it

Cheryl x

Thank you for replying! Do you find as time goes on it gets harder or easier? I feel as time is going on I find it harder. I have a toddler who keeps me going but like everyone I have good and bad days and thought joining this page and speaking to others who have been through same grief will help xx


In many ways I find things harder as time goes on.

Obviously the shock and intial trauma has faded but the day to day living without my mum is so hard.

My mum lived with my daughter, partner and I and she was the focal point that we all gravitated to.
My daughter, now 14, adored her. My partner spent alot of time with her. She was his friend.

And to me she was everything. We watched tv together, drank wine together, shopped together.

I am so lost without her and my life has changed completely. I dont like having contact with my aunts and uncles because it doesnt feel right. I wouldn’t go to a family party because mum would no longer be there.

I think I just get through every day pretending she hasnt gone. I cant look at photos of her and we even sold the house because none of us could live there without her.

The week before she died she joked that she would outlive all of us because she had so much energy and we were all moaning how tired we were

I’m also a very bitter and angry person and will never get over how unfair life is.

Does this feel familiar to you?

Aww that’s completely understandable, I’m sure your aunt and uncle understand too when it comes too family parties.

I’m the exact same when it comes to the angry feeling, I just think why us, why our family? I hope you’re doing ok.

We moved house too, myself and fiancé and daughter sold our flat and my mum sold her flat and we all moved in together as my mum was struggling after losing my dad and then her mum my nana 6weeks after. I felt the same I couldn’t live where I lived before because it was a constant reminder of my dad. It’s nice being able to relate as some folk don’t understand why you move and don’t just redecorate the house but it isn’t that easy, everything is a constant reminder.

I have good days and bad days but most days I just miss my dad so much and think why is life so cruel. I’m thankful I have my daughter who keeps me going and I’m trying to be the best mum I can to keep my dad proud. I just miss how much he is missing out of her life watching her grow into a little character. My mums great with her they’ve got a really good bond. Sorry for the life story!!

Life is just so cruel isn’t it!! When it comes to things such as, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, birthdays and Christmas it knocks you right back I feel.

Like yourself I’m over the shock, I think I went about in a bubble for a while just kept thinking it’s all a bad dream and now I’m just trying to accept that life still goes on but it isn’t the same and never will be xx