One year on !

I’ve lost a lot of people in my life, my parents,my parents in law and sister in law, grandparents, uncle’s, aunt’s, cousins & friends. I miss all of them and each time my heart ached. However when we lost our daughter Rebecca on 15th May 2022 it shattered my heart into pieces. I read once, “The worst pain a human being could ever feel in a lifetime would be the loss of a child” Never a truer word. We are supposed to leave this world before our children, that is the plan, that’s the way it’s supposed to be, or so I thought. Life seems unfair and isn’t the same anymore and never will be again. We live differently now, we breathe differently now, everything is different. We try to find purpose to go on without her. To smile again, laugh again, function again. I remember when Rebecca first passed away, and more so lately, people tell me that I would be okay because “You’re so strong”. I never got that, because not once did I ever feel strong enough. Everyday is a battle after that awful day, everyday is a fight, just to wake up, take a shower, talk, do jobs around the house and so on! Here I am, 12 months later, still waking up after a disturbed night, continuing to deal with those parts of everyday life, and the grief is still as hard to bear. I will say, it doesn’t get “easier”, as everyone implies. I don’t think the pain will ever go away, it stays with you forever. You do learn to live again, just differently.


I’m so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine the pain you are suffering. I have lost my husband and wanted to reach out to say you have been heard. My heart was aching for you as I read your post. Sending love and hugs x

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Thank you so much, you too will recognise the grief, it has been so hard over the last 12 months, especially supporting my husband who didn’t take our daughters death well. I have tried to support him and my son in law and just occasionally grief comes up and hits me hard!

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@Buff I’m so sorry for your loss.
I lost my partner 15 weeks ago, which is totally devastating but I can only imagine what it is like to lose a child.
I have just started reading a book called “ resilient grieving “ by Lucy Hone. It is meant to be helpful is understanding and processing grief. I haven’t read much of it to say if it’s helpful but she wrote it after losing her daughter so it may be something that helps you xx

Hi buff my son passed last march 22 it were on my birthday. I totally agree with what you said. It is different now the pain is still immense. Its not got easier at all the missing them is horrendous. I were driving the other day and a van nearly drove into me i just thought well if i get killed at least i can be with James. Lifes different a piece of me went that day my don went. Big hugs xx

Thank you for the book recommendation I will look it up. I am so sorry for your loss, and hope you find some help from it too! Many hugs! x

So sorry for your loss too, do take care of yourself. I know how hopeless everything seems at times but you need to keep your son’s memory alive so people know he lived! Take care!

Hi Buff, I am getting counselling, just this afternoon actually, we spoke about the emtional energy it takes to keep going.
That it leaves very little for any thing else.
I am kinder to myself now, as you described our forever changed lives. I am also a little bit selfish, in that my mental emotional health is a priority.
My son has been gone for nearly four years, on some days it seems like yesterday
Take care of yourselves xx

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