It’s now a year since the sudden loss of my Mum so it feels time to reflect. The early weeks up to the funeral were brutal days of raw emotions as I tried to make sense of what had happened. During February my brother and I cleared our Mum’s house as it felt too emotional to have all her things around us. What a task to complete at any stage of grief! After the funeral it felt like everything should be ‘normal’ but of course it couldn’t ever be the same again. I read a lot of advice and guidance as I tried to navigate through the days in a world without my Mum. Truth be told, I lost a lot of motivation for life and spent a lot of time walking by the nearby beach thinking about my Mum. In amongst all this I’ve had to manage the ‘sadmin’ that floods out at the end of a life. Trying to sell a house has been stressful and the months of delay an agony. Not to mention the investigation by the DWP who questioned my Mum’s eligibility to pension credit after her death. One year on and still neither of these issues have been completed! The regular monitoring visits to Mum’s empty house have been a torment.
A year on and I miss my Mum more than ever but I have accepted that she has gone. The sudden and completely unexpected nature of her death still haunts me but I am grateful that she didn’t suffer a long drawn out end in a hospital like so many others. I’m hopeful that the house etc will one day soon be finished and then another episode will be completed. I know my Mum would want me to get on with life so I will do my best to honour her memory by finding some joy again. Grief is a hard experience but I know I’ve survived this difficult year so I have to keep going forward. Sending my best wishes to everyone on this journey…xx
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