My much loved mum passed three years ago, with dementia and for the first year I was okay, grief has crept up on me and now I cry at the slightest thing that reminds me of her. I live 200 miles from my siblings so have no-one to share this with, but I am not coping at all.
Hi Jacks
Sorry for you loss and for all you’re going through. I hope it helps to know you’re not alone.
I lost both my parents within 16 weeks of each other last year. I live far away from my siblings.
I’m feeling guilty as I can remember my Dad’s funeral, but my Mum’s, 2 weeks before Christmas is a blur.
I think grief affects us all differently, what you are feeling is very normal.
Keep posting on here .
Hi Jacks, I realise how difficult it is, I’ve been there, got the tee shirt! When I got stuck and couldn’t see the way forward, A good friend asked me to look at my future and think “this is the last chapter of my life, how would I like it to be?
We are the authors of our own destiny”
So I sat down and started writing the plot. It had things in there such as
Where wilI I live?
How will I arrange my finances?
Do I want a romantic interest, or just platonic friends of the opposite sex?
What type of holidays do I want?
What new hobbies do I want?
What lifestyle do I want to generate?
How will I put myself in a position to meet new people and make new friends?
etc, etc
Because I had decided to be my own author, I actually grabbed a pen and paper and wrote it down, so I could go back and read it when I lost my way.
Then bit by bit, often slowly, I did things which moved me in the direction I had written down.
Sometimes I realised I had got it wrong, so I rubbed it out and replaced it with a better version.
But I steadily moved into my new life, and I’m pretty happy again. I haven’t left my old life, and the memories, behind me. This is just my new chapter, the old chapters are still in my life’s book, and I often go back to read them.
Good luck, we all realise how difficult it is.
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Hi jacks l lost my wife 2 weeks ago from dimentia life will go on the lady who wrote a list down this is a good thought .While my wife was so ill l did the same . I have joined a lunch club and it helps there is life after some one leves us and very slowly on this journey things do get better . I am going to try cruise as well keep putting posts. Up it helps ken Oxford
I’m so sorry you have no one and live far away from anyone. That must be so very hard. It doesn’t matter how long it has been - I don’t think it gets any easier. I lost my mother when I was 19. I’m 49 now and it still hits me hard- when I see mothers and daughters shopping together, and mother’s days and Christmas. Now I’ve lost my dad too and I feel my mothers death more keenly
So it’s like she’s died all over again. I don’t know what the answer to grief is. I just go to sleep when the feelings become too much. Xx
There is no one fixed answer. I find trying to go out helps just for a walk with my doggies. Could you talk to your gp any local clubs for your age group so sorry its a journey and can be a long one there is no fixed answer . Do you have a garden any type of interest is good so sorry ken oxford