Only Child

Losing a child
1

We are heartbroken after losing our beautiful precious 13 year old son suddenly 7 weeks ago after what started as what we thought was a tummy bug, the 111 call initially thought so too. We are still waiting for the coroner’s results, the guilt that we couldnt save him, the what ifs, and not knowing part is so hard.

We adopted our son when he was 3.5 years old, a traumatised child but deeply loved, raising him came with it’s struggles but we were determined to give him a happy healthy life. He had a bright future ahead of him, he had so many plans, this is not how it was supposed to end.

He was kind, thoughtful and charismatic, and always had a way of making everyone around him feel seen and special.

We met our childs birth family the day before his memorial service, though it was never meant to happen in the first place until our son felt ready. This has added another layer to our grief which we are trying to navigate.

So desperate to see him walk through the door, hear his voice, see his smile, give him a hug and tell him we how much we love him.

Every day, I wish I would never wake up from this hell. And the moment I open my eyes, the realisation that he’s gone is soul destroying. How do we carry on, life without him has lost all meaning.

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I am so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful boy. I lost my son too and I know that unbearable pain of waking up and, for those first few seconds, forgetting that your child has died, only for reality to come crashing back. There are simply no words for that kind of pain.
Please try not to blame yourselves. You loved your son, you fought for him, you gave him a family, a home and a life filled with love. The “what ifs” and the guilt can be so cruel, especially when you are still waiting for answers.
What you have written about him — kind, thoughtful, charismatic and making everyone feel seen — says so much about the beautiful person he became. He knew he was loved. He knew he belonged. And he will always be your son.
Please be gentle with yourselves.Getting through each day doing the bare minimum is ok.
I am sending you both so much love. From one bereaved parent to another, you are not alone. :heart: