Opening the door

As I’ve started to really open the door on my dad’s death I’ve started to noticed how my mood has shifted into this sadness. I don’t want to move or do anything yet I push myself everyday because laying in bed won’t stop the feeling. I’ve isolated myself because I just need time. I don’t want to have to pretend that I’m okay or put on a smile. I know we all have to move forward but these days feel like I’m just stuck in 1st gear with the handbrake on. I’m tired, I’m sure most of you are. It is an emotional tiredness and I just want to sleep the days away at the moment. I know feelings pass but it feels horrid. It’s been 13 years and finally letting it in is c**p. Everyone who is going through this, I send all my best.

I’m so sorry for your loss, and that you have struggled with it for so many years. Bottling up grief can definitely make it last longer, so it is good that you finally feel able to open up a little. It is understandable that the emotions feel overwhelming at the moment, and it’s important to be kind to yourself and give yourself that time out to grieve. I hope that being able to release these emotions will in time help you to move forward to a more positive place in your life.

Hello Jay. I’m sorry for your loss. You will find this forum full of people with so much love and understanding. I think we can all relate to the sadness you are feeling. Unfortunately, after losing a loved one, everything we do and everywhere we go is tainted with sadness. I lost my husband suddenly 2 years ago this very day and the grief never goes away but that’s ok. I carry him with me always and my grief has become a part of who I am now. My husband never leaves me, not for a single second and I don’t want him to. I hope you can find the help and comfort you need Jay, to help you move forward in your journey of grief. Sending love and strength xx