It’s over two years since I lost my husband and have been trying to find a suitable place to sprinkle one lot of his ashes. I have two lots as I have some in an urn I purchased to keep him in the lounge where he spent lots of time watching telly! I have another urn with the rest of them in from the crematorium. He was ex navy and spent a lot of time in Liverpool which he loved. I have just found that you can sprinkle them in the River Mersey from the ferry, which I think is ideal. The thing is, I would like to do this on my own as I don’t want to make it a “family day out”. Am I being selfish?
No, you’re not. It is something that you want to do for him, between the pair of you and if it makes you happy then go ahead. You have given it a lot of thought.
At a later date you may feel the need to share what you have done and then maybe others can pay their own respects on a river trip.
I hope it goes well and you find some peace.
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If you have children @Lbase60 can you ask them if they’d be ok with this? Just to save any issues later. All family dynamics are different.
As a daughter if my mum had wanted to do this I would have said that’s ok ( dad was buried) as I did everything to support mum & doing what she wanted kept me going, but now that she has passed ( 5 months ago & my pain is unbearable) & I am keeping her ashes (as she requested) I would not be able to cope if one of my siblings did this. We agreed to share them but really only me & 1 sister want them.
Ultimately I agree though that you should choose what happens.
My children would say I shouldn’t do this on my own as they worry about me 
I would love just my two to come with me but I know my daughter would say I needed to ask my stepson. I have never got on particularly well with him and haven’t seem him since the funeral, even though he only lives 10 miles away. That’s what is stopping me telling my kids that’s what I would like to do
My wife Carol died just 46 days ago as I write. I don’t have her body or her ashes as we both made a bequest to medical research and so she went of to Aberdeen University. I have also postponed the Celebration of Life until the end of March. Spring was her favorite season. This has caused some issues as her brother wanted something before Christmas. It would have been rushed and not the celbration she would have wanted. It would also have limited who could attend because I am in the Highlands and most of her friends and relatives are in England. So we have limited transport and very little accommodation open.
I will be able to get Carol’s ashes back when the academic course is finished in 2-3 years. My idea will be to split them into small amounts in some small boxes I will try and make. That way I can put a small piece of her into the locations she loved as well as keeping some of her to myself. What ever you decide to do should be for you. Don’t rush into anything ,time will help you find the right thing in the mean time he will stay with you.
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