OST my soul mate

Nine years ago even though we were only together for six or seven years we were together every day we were best friends he suffered really bad anxiety and had got CBD oil from someone he knew in the gym this was a strong one called RSO he was 19 stone so he had some on the Wednesday night and I had no effect so he had more and accidentally overdosed he had a heart attack 24 hours later. I had gone to bed and left him downstairs he was fine sitting on the couch he told me he felt fine so I thought it was outve his system he said good night I love you I went upstairs and within minutes someone had knocked at the front door so I ran downstairs to tell him and found him sitting on the couch not moving his mouth going blue I tried to give him CPR and the ambulance came so quickly and brought him back to lifeI held his hand in the ambulance they said how lucky he had been kept him on life support for four days then done a brain stem cell test the part of his brain that told him to breath had died so he had died he was finally happy in life and he just got his professional boxing license he died aged 36 I really didn’t think After everything he’s been through he would die like this the night he died half of me died with him now it feels like half of me is just left here to look after my 10-year-old son he is the only reason I get up in the morning and I feel like I’m just gonna have to go on being unhappy in life for ever without my boyfriend Lee I’m still in shock it’s been a month today since it all happened and it just still doesn’t feel real I feel like I’m in a bad dream His family i.e. Mum sisters auntie’s and cousins who he hadn’t spoke to for the last 2 1/2 you have give me so much grief spread rumours about me at the worst time of my life trying to make this 10 times Worse than it already is. he was my income as he didn’t want me to get a job he didn’t want me to as he said I didn’t need to he would give me it and he always did as I looked after him in every way now not only have I lost my best friend I’m struggling in every way financially all because we hadn’t got married. Even tho he planned for us to spend the rest of our lives together and his two brothers who he was close to knew this also without him even having to tell them that how much he loved me. His mum has claimed every penny from the government kept all the money outve of 200 cards people had give cards with my name on so watever money there was she has kept and denied it he told everyone I helped him turn his life around but now I’m left on my own drowning

Dear Hayley I’m so so sorry for your loss it’s so tragic . I lost my partner 12 weeks ago suddenly without warning and I’m still in disbelief about it all I just cry every day we were so very happy he was my everything we were so happy it’s just seems so unfair and why why why is all I think to myself . I can’t even think about my life without him it’s all so cruel that we all have to go through this unbearable pain every day
Sending love and hugs take care

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Hi @Hayley198894

It looks like this is your first post on the community so welcome and thank you for sharing so openly and honestly about your situation and how you are feeling. I’m really sorry about your boyfriend, Lee.

It sounds as though the shock of what happened with Lee is hard to deal with and you are finding things overwhelming which is completely understandable given what you have been through - it’s still very soon. It’s nice to read about your son - I’m hearing he is the reason you can get up in the morning and I hope you find some comfort in that. Keep holding onto those things which bring you comfort.

I was sorry to read about your money worries too - I thought I would share a couple of links with you which I hope you will find helpful. The first is an article on our website which offers some advice around getting financial support: https://www.sueryder.org/how-we-can-help/someone-close-to-me-has-died/advice-and-support/getting-financial-support.

The second is for the Citizens Advice website – they are very helpful with these sorts of things: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support - I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.

Thank you again for sharing. Please do keep on reaching out, you don’t have to struggle alone.

Take care,

Thank you I’ll have a read through them

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Thank you Janeets x

Hayley, my heart goes out to you and your son. Reading your post had me in tears because your story tells of a very strong person being brought to her knees by a unkind person. Please look at the websites that Megan as given you and please don’t let other people get to you, you are much better then them. You give everything you could to save your soulmate and just because you don’t have a piece of paper doesn’t take away the love you shared. Take care and be kind to yourself and your son, things will work out. Big hugs and my blessing is sent to you. S xxx

Thank you so much xx