Does anyone else struggle with replacing Our with My? Our house, our dog, our car etc. I do, probably because I find it hard to face this life alone.
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It is very difficult. I’m 15 months in on this horrendous journey and I hate it. It’s so hard for the brain to rewire. Sending love and strength x
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Not me, I still say our and we - it is normal to me and i wont consciously stop, it may naturally happen in time.
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Jim, as far as I’m concerned Jackie is still part of my life. She put nearly 58 years into our marriage, so deserves the recognition of our and we.
I’ve been signing birthday cards from both of us and still will. If people don’t like it, then tough.
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I’ve not sent a card at all. I’d rather not send one than write just my name. It has upset a few people, but I care not.
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Why not sign both?
Do what’s best for you and for me it’s both names
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Hello Jim68
I still say ‘our’ and ‘we’ because I still feel my wife is with me. I still refer to the car as hers, because she owned it and drove it, even though I’ve had to re-register it in my name.
As Johnr has pointed out greetings cards could be an issue but I’m inclined to do as he does and sign from us both.
The way I see it is that the state and every organisation is determined to erase her from their records, so the least I can do is to keep her memory alive.
Once a couple always a couple!
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It breaks me. I just can’t. If I write both of our names I spiral. It’s so painful.
I have been very detached from my life for several months. It’s not something I have done intentionally, my brain is coping that way. I can’t cry, even though I know I need to. My husband is constantly on my mind but it forgets he’s no longer with us. If something triggers I push it away. And then it hits hard and I can’t do anything. I feel like if I let in the pain I’ll break 
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@JD8369 I’m so sorry for your sudden loss. I lost my 52 year old husband in March - he died in his sleep. We never get to say goodbye or prepare. We go on with the painful feeling of emptiness.
I cried in the supermarket today. The grief came out of nowhere when I saw a seeded bread that my husband liked. Imagine that, seeded bread bought about my downfall today!
Everyone here is in the same position so please use this space for support.
Warmest of hugs x
P.
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That’s ok. We’re all different so do what makes you feel good.
You do need to let any tears out though.
You take care 
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I do Jim
I still call things ours rather than my because that’s how I see them.
Kate
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Thank you for your reply
I am so sorry for your loss and pain. Its so hard to carry on isn’t it. No more I love you, no more texts, no more holding hands or cuddles in bed and no warning either.
There are many things that have reduced me to a dribbling mess. Yet I still can’t believe it is all happening…
Take good care of yourself, love and hugs xx
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I think my only option now is therapy as 15 months on I realise that my grief is unhealthy. I don’t go out, I’ve not seen anyone I know since the funeral, I don’t want to see people and the people who could have contributed to my healing abandoned me. I am unable to return to work as I cannot seem to integrate back in to the real world. I’m so angry and sad and lonely. I don’t know if because I have a huge investigation ongoing that I am unable to grieve properly. I don’t know anything anymore.
Take care x
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I often slip up and say ‘our.’ Really, its not wrong. My wife is gone, but it’ll always be our house, our dog, our family etc.
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JD, I think you may be right. Why not go and see your GP. and tell them what you are going through, don’t hold back.
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You are amazing
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Katetr,i still say we too.i am like you,we had no children,just got cousins now and they all live away.my life feels so empty without my wife,it just all happened so quickly,no time for goodbyes.i miss hugging her,holding her hand,telling her i love her.night times are so heartbreaking too.i still cant bring myself to move her things.i will never get over the loss and feelings of loneliness.
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Not really. Just an old man who misses his love of 60 years 
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I am so sorry.
I hope it will get easier
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