Our sons birthday was 6th November…how the hell do you begin writing a card that feels incomplete. Seeing just mum on the card broke my heart…i found myself going back and forwards…do i give it, don’t i give it, do i write mum and dad, don’t i write mum and dad, will it upset him if i did sign dad at the bottom of the card…the only thing i could think of was…ask my mum. She is such a wise old bird. Sign from both of you she said, he is still his dad, he is still part if his life…he may not be here physically but he is here in spirit and spirits can’t pick up a pen so be the extension of him as you were before he passed. I spoke to Simon before i gave him his card…i felt my heart swell…“he is my dad, then, now and forever, he has been holding your hand from the moment he left so let him continue doing what he would have done when he was here”
Why do some of our youth today out wise their mums.
If you have a birthday or an anniversay coming up that you would have celebrated with the other half of your heart, include them, keep them celebrating with you.
I have learned this from a child that not so long ago it seems, we were changing his nappies and wiping his nose.
Christmas on the other hand is another matter, i may just let these cards stay in their box.
Hello , I have just lost my Dad in July and had my birthday in October . I asked my mum not to send me a card with just her name as it would break my heart and probably hers too . So don’t send a card .
She said she was planning writing “from us “ it still would have been hard but it’s better than not having his name there . In the end she didn’t send one but in future I’ll think she’ll send the from ”us” option.
I don’t know if this helps but sharing how I felt - there is no right or wrong . Xxxxxx
@nicky1961 My mum wrote Mum & Dad on my Birthday card in March just weeks after Dad died. Your mum is quite right, he’s still Dad, he might not be here but he’s still thought about. On my parents anniversary, I sent flowers with a card to mum & Dad & at Christmas I’ll do the same. Thanx for starting this thread & your mum is indeed very wise!!
I always sign my partner’s name on all cards as I will at Christmas too. He is still a massive part of all our lives. He lives on in all of us everyday.
My wife left a set of birthday cards that she’d bought in the ‘card tin’ and put post it notes on each indicating who they were for. They were all of her usual dark humor. It was such a lovely, caring thing for her to have done, it made things so much easier for me and gave the recipients one last laugh with her after she had gone.
Oh wow, what a lovely thing to do.
When i go, i have diaries for them and memory books of their first steps, first tooth, but cards…how lovely.
That’s really nice , I’m going to ask my
Mum to sign from both too I know she wanted to , feels like he’s still around then x
I’ve just been crying my eyes out reading your post. Bless you, bless your son, bless your Mum, bless your husband.
I decided from the beginning I was going to include my husband’s name on cards I was sending to others. Initially I put his name in brackets, alongside mine and our two dogs. Now I don’t even bother with the brackets.
As far as Christmas is concerned and cards I receive… Last year ( which was the first, my husband died at the end of August) I could only bear to put up cards that included his name, like you the others went inside a Christmas gift bag and I never looked at them again.
I will do the same this year. I’m gonna be interested to see how many put his name on, especially those who have received cards from us this year.
Christmas remains a big challenge, perhaps even harder this year. Last year most people understood that I didn’t want to celebrate or see anyone. I’m getting the feeling already that people won’t be so understanding of my plans this year, when I tell them again I’m still not celebrating.
Sorry for the rambling.
It’s just so good to have this site, where we can say whatever we want.
Love and hugs to you, and everyone on here