Out for the evening

I’ve been out for the evening. I’ve had a nice time. With friends with partners. I’ve come home. How does anyone get through the pain of the next hour? I cry for the time that Steve and I should . have spent together, I cry. It does not get better, please help. I thought I was getting better.

Hi. Montague. Contrast!! That is the explanation. We may go out and have a good time. We may monetarily forget the pain and think maybe the worst has passed, then we open the door to an empty hose and it hits us so hard. The feeling of loss is exaggerated by the recent feeling of release. It’s not at all unusual and it does happen. Accept that for some time it may be so.
You didn’t just think you were getting better you are. The fact that you can go out and see friends says that. Also, seeing people with partners can cause emotional problems. Once again it reminds us of our loss. These ‘triggers’ should be taken as they come. It’s all OK and part of this awful process called grief.
Don’t allow ‘setbacks’ to throw you into despair.
Take care and kind wishes. John.

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Hi Montague
Like you i have found coming home to an empty house one of the most difficult things to deal with since my John died in January. Coming home used to mean driving down the lane, crossing the bridge, seeing smoke coming out the chimney & John putting the kettle on because he’d heard the car. It was always the same ‘come on then tell me all the news’. I now come in tell him i’m home & although i have to make my own tea i still tell him all my news. x


Hi. gay61. Good for you. Talking to our loved one is so good for the soul, and he hears you always believe that. Where there is love nothing is ever lost. All the familiar things have gone but that deep love can never die. Hold the love in your heart and keep taking to John. Take care.