Dear Jackie,
Thank you for your reply, I am sending a (hug) back, I would imagine you are like me, practically housebound, which makes the suffering a lot worse, thank goodness for TV and books. I am lucky that I am not too isolated, I do have friends ringing me for which I am eternally grateful. To be perfectly honest, I missed being in hospital, it must have been the company, it is awful being so alone isn’t it? I wish our children lived nearer our daughter has begged me to sell up and go and live near to her and our son-in-law. Our son understands why I will not hear of it and he has told Janet to let it drop, I have everything in place here, where I have lived all my life, good doctor, good consultant at the hospital, a cleaner/carer and friends. I hope when you move, you will be happy in your new home, you will know when the time is right for you to do so.
Take care,
Love,
Mary x
Mary…
… if i knew what i know now i would have thought twice about leaving our previous home, i had everything in that village that i needed…although hand on heart i would find it very hard now, in what was once an atmospheric and at times noisy home with our three dogs, but it was home…But at least i would have gotten into the flat grounded grassed back garden and out through the back gate onto a a flat path, as they say, " hindsight is a wonderful thing…" now if only it had been a bungalow with a shower, we even had a cow field over the back and not forgetting the birds, the starlings that flocked to my daily bird-feeders and water fountain…I was so foolish moving away but i had no idea i was to lose Richard, so much for a fresh start for the pair of us…although my Richard never saw it that way, i had uprooted him away from a place he was comfortable and happy in, all because i got this MS which crept up on me out of the blue…
Oh if only we-i could go back and rectify my big mistake and put everything right, but i cant, it is now too late…Well i have gotten my Richards ashes back home, i owed him that…now all i have to do is to get myself back…
Jackie…
Dear Jackie,
Is there any chance that you might move back into the area, where you lived previously? It might be an idea to look on the internet, maybe put your name down with some reputable estate agents. It may not be the full answer but you would be near to where you were so happy with your Richard. We do have a tragic event in common, finding our husbands dead on the floor, do you still feel the shock waves going through you when you recall it? I do, I never go into our bedroom without picturing Stan on the floor, as I found him. I knew he was dead before I tried to feel for his pulse, I hadn’t a clue as to what I was doing, yet, he looked so peaceful and comfortable. I sat up all that night, I could not bear to go to bed, I am glad that I made myself sleep in our bed the following night. I am now going to have a cup of tea before I take my night time medication, another weary day over.
I do hope that you start to feel better, Jackie, it is a horrible situation in which you find yourself, one thing for sure your Richard will be with you
wherever you go and whatever you do.
It is the thought of seeing my Stan again which keeps me going. I love him so much.
God bless, I hope you have sweet dreams of your Richard.
Love,
Mary x