I’m studying with the Open University, something which generally really enjoy. Today I reached the “recommended independent study section” and there on the list was a podcast my Dad often spoke of and was extremely fond of. It was just so unexpected to see it there I burst into tears and had to walk away temporarily. I’m sure we’ve all experienced this sort of thing but just really wanted to share. I find some of these things that come out of the blue tough to cope with as they are unexpected so you can’t prepare yourself.
I got tears in my eyes reading that, I can relate to it 100%, it is difficult, ever since my mom left unexpectedly, I have been low, wherever you, whatever you eat, it transports me to a memory and it is difficult to control, I can get up and move away and journal but that hurts. Hope you are doing well @Eponine.
@Varun Thank you for your kind words. It’s funny how these things creep up on you isn’t it? And some days something will make you smile, another day it will make you cry and it will be exactly the same thing, it just depends how it hits you at the time
I agree, someone passing away just makes us so vulnerable, apart from the memories all the emotions come up, it changes you, destroys you and troubles you so much. All the other relationship gets difficult too. If you want to speak about your dad I am happy to listen
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Thank you, I appreciate the support 
Songs ! Happened just recently while in a garden centre. I think it’s the element of surprise that catapults you back to a memory. It’s hard 
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That’s it exactly, the surprise just hits you, then the memories
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Yes when I see his old stuff fall out.
Pick it up and like a batten in the relay.
Rediscovered his old loppers and tried to use them to lop off the very branches he used to tame.
Was his favourite tool. Was a chat we used to have that I wouldn’t be able to look after them like he did but doesn’t stop me having a go but it defeats me. Like having a go trying to keep fuschias alive like my dad used to and they always die but just buy again and keep trying. Same when his hydrangea died just start again try to keep it alive keeping on his legacy somehow. His secrets how he coped. His lovely Italian garden he made next folk crashed down so sad
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