Over a decade later

It’s been tough reading what people are going through after the loss of a loved one my heart goes out to you all.

My husband past away suddenly in 2003 at the age of 26, we met at school and had a 3 year old son who is now 17 and he is my rock, looking back I really don’t know how I have come this far.

I can relate to so many of the thoughts and feelings of others after losing someone you love. Feeling lost and not accepting or wanting to accept that this person you love is not coming back, feeling that huge hole in your heart that you and it’s so painful, not wanting to be here and feeling guilty because you are, feeling guilty when you smile, feeling guilty because you are trying to get on with your life and also feeling angry at times that this person that loved you left you…

All these feelings and thoughts are ok and are normal as a part of the grieving process and there isn’t a time line for grieving as everyone is different, take one day at a time and do things at you own pace and when YOU are ready for example going through their belongings, doing things that make you smile is ok too…think about how your loved one would want to see you smile and for you to be happy.

I know sometimes talking about that person is difficult but it helps…talk about the happy memories, things that make you smile and the nice things you experienced together even funny things they use to do and say.

Much love to you all…remember one day at a time



Hi Rachel,

I’m so sorry to hear that you lost your husband at such a young age, and when your child was so young. It sounds as though you have come a long way over the years and done a great job raising your son.

Thanks so much for sharing your story - I’m sure a lot of our users will find it helpful to hear from someone who is further down the line and to read about how you have coped.

You wrote in your profile that you want to help others who are going through similar experiences - that is lovely, and I’m glad that you’ve joined our community. Please feel free to read and reply to people’s posts if you feel that you can relate or offer a perspective. For example, we have a few recent posters who have lost their husband or partner at a young age:

Jazcat and Katie are both in their 20s and have posted in this conversation: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/lost-boyfriend-heart-attack

Linsey lost her partner at 36: https://support.sueryder.org/community/coping-death-loved-one/feeling-so-empty-and-lonely

Hi Priscilla,

Thank you so much for your kind words and welcoming me to this community. Of course I will continue to read posts and offer any support I can.

Thanks again

Rachel x

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