It is over a year ago that my Dad died and it feels like recently that I am just over the shock. I keep breaking down in tears and when I start I just can’t seem to stop. It feels like when he first died and I start to feel a panicked feeling. I don’t know if this is because he died before COVID measures all came into place and we are pretty much back to normal and he is not here in our normal and this has hit me. Has anyone else felt this? I know that grief changes over time but I feel so raw like at the beginning. Is it possible to be so in shock for so long?
I am no expert so can’t answer your question about the length of time you can be in shock. What I can say is that grief can be like the sea, very calm at times, and stormy at other times. My dad died 4 years ago, my mum 3 years ago, and my feelings of grief have come and gone, sometimes at moments I was not expecting it I would suddenly feel tearful and sad again.
You may be right in thinking that your current feelings have to do with us coming out of lockdown. If your dad was still alive, you would probably be making plans of what you would do together, but the fact that you cannot do this may have brought back the reality that he is no longer here. Just go with your feelings and if you need to cry, cry. I hope you have people arond you who are understanding and supportive.