So my dad has been gone for a little over two weeks…and it still hurts like it did on day one!
The thing I’ve noticed most this week is how overwhelmed I am. People are just getting on my last nerve and I cannot deal with all their questions.
I’ve been so close to a panic attack this week; it’s like a sneeze, you know it’s coming, but when it won’t your body is still getting ready for it. I am twitchy, mentally on high alert and struggling to keep my breath or keep calm.
The sad thing is I have very few people to talk to about this. My boss will see it as a sign that I cannot do my job, my boyfriend will just try and fix it by telling me to calm down and none of my friends have spoken to me since he died as they’ve done their "oh my god, so sorry for you loss.x " obligation.
I think if this continues, I will have to go back on antidepressants and I really don’t want to do that if I can help it. I just don’t know how to feel less overwhelmed, to feel like I can take a breath.