I lost Mum, Dad and my Sister separately between 2/3 years ago. The before , during and after was vile. I’ve been ok but the past few weeks have been hit by waves of missing the three of them so so much, it’s almost like physical pain. I’m crying now.
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Hi Daphne, I am sorry to hear about your suffering. When my wife’s mother died she found it very difficult to come to terms with. After going to a couple of therapists and a priest she managed to cope better but it took a lot of time and lots of conversations to get to where she was comfortable. As for the pain it is very much a physical pain, when my wife died it felt as if I was being ripped in two. Just thinking about it brings me to tears. My wife’s last breath was a call to her mother, I hope they are together now.
Perhaps it would be a good idea to find someone to talk to in person about your bereavements. Your friends and family probably can’t understand as unless you have been through this it isn’t easy realise just how painful it is.
Wishing you all the strength you need
All the best
Tom 
Tom, thank you so much for your words, for what it’s worth, I so “get it”. I had some counselling but I think they thought I’d reached the point where I was ok. Sometimes I am, but other times it’s like a tsunami. I have to keep busy. Rightly or wrongly I feel that those close to me think I should have moved on. At the moment I just miss them so so much.
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Hi Daphne, I try to keep positive and remember how lucky I’ve been to have loved and been loved by such a special woman. I’m sure your family are watching all your suffering and hoping you can regain some joy. All their love for you has got to help you to carry on. Love in the end is a gift we are given with an obligation to share.
Wishing you all the best
Tom
I get you, a week ago my son got married . His wife put a plaque at reception remembering those who could not be present . A lovely gesture but I cried for 3 days for no reason and did nothing except let my dog out. I’d not posted in ages on here as I felt I was doing well into 4 th year since my husband died. Someone responded said these “elephant traps” Will appear and we have to crawl out. Grief will never leave but we learn to cope with it. Take life a minute at a time until you come out of the elephant trap , it’s a blip. Pull yourself back up and remember crying is not a weakness it’s ok to cry. I often feel better for a cry. You are doing well don’t be hard on yourself .
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Thank you. The elephant trap analogy is spot on
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I agree good analogy but cannot take the credit . From another member Tykey.
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