Well it’s a bit more than losing a parent….here’s my story…. April 2018, my mum aged 81 collapsed with a bleed on the brain, never woke up and died 5 days later. She was perfectly healthy , just the normal age related problems but nothing serious. My dad was 94 at the time, and was totally devastated, and sadly passed away 5 months later aged 95, a great life but a devastating end for him. 5 months after he died, my dog, aged 10 suddenly collapsed and had to be put to sleep as she had a cancer tumour that had burst, and I knew nothing about. In addition to these events, my best friend of 35 years, stopped talking to me cos my brother and I had taken the very tough decision to place my dad in a care home, as we thought it would be the best thing for him, on all levels. So another loss in my life.
I’m single, childless and little family - I have an older brother but we’re not close and don’t live close to each other. And that’s pretty much it in family terms. Sept 2019 I moved house, it was quite stressful, but I needed to get out the house I’d been in as my neighbours made my life quite stressful. April 2020 I started some quite extensive building works in the house, in the middle of that I broke my foot, not great as I’m an active outdoors person, so was quite testing to sit still. Meanwhile we were all coping with COVID and lockdowns eh! In April 2021 I decided I wanted to move again, again I had miserable neighbours who moaned about my cats, and anything to be honest, they were either side of me and were friends with each other and basically bullied me - two older women as well, you’d think they would be a bit nicer. So, I made a bold move, and I’ve moved from Essex to Norfolk, on my own, well with my 4 cats. I love it here and very happy I’ve made the move in August this year, but I’ve hit a massive wall and I think the last 3 years have literally ‘caught’ up with me. I have got myself a little puppy now, and he is totally adorable and such a joy, and brings me lots of happiness, even when im having a really crap day. I forgot to mention I also had a bad reaction to the first COVID vaccine and ended up in A&E, with terrible stomach pains. And yeh i’m menopausal, so grief, stress, hormones is not a great combo. Im seeing grief counselling again and sorting out HRT, but just wanted to reach out to anyone in a similar situation. Bearing in mind my parents passed away 3 years ago, and only now I seem to be processing it.
Any help gratefully received, from someone finding it all a little overwhelming at the moment.
Thanks for reading. Xx
Hello Sue, you certainly know how to make life stressful with moving house, it’s the last thing for me to even think about but family have made me, no to moving.
Grief catches us out and just when we think it’s over or too late, it bites. I am pleased you are having counselling and got sorted with HRT it helps.
Norfolk is a lovely area and with your new puppy and long walks, life should start to improve. I do hope your cats are fine with the pup because they can be a nightmare when something new arrives.
It was lovely reading your post, so thank you and I am sending blessings for you and your new home. Take care. S xx
Tbh if my first neighbours had been ok, I probably would’ve stayed there longer but it was becoming very stressful as the kids were dealing drugs and would sit in their garden smoking dope all day, it was quite unnerving tbh. I always wanted to move to Norfolk or Suffolk, and I thought while I’m young enough I want to do it, I didn’t want to regret not trying. I do love the pace of life here, the space and fresh air and it’s a great place to bring up the puppy!
I’m fortunate that I have freedom, which some people long for, so that’s a good positive in my life, I think with some time, counselling and tweaking my HRT, I’ll get there. Thank you for your words of support.
O and the cats are fine, they’re very used to dogs! I’ve always owned dogs and I used to run my own dog walking and boarding business, so always plenty of dogs around! Most importantly they let him know who’s boss! 
xx
Nice to know more details and really happy that things are going to be great for you. My own cat would not put up with anything that stops her being top cat. Enjoy your new life, stress free.
Hi guys
As a fellow cat lover decided to comment. My mum, who passed away in April had only had her 10 year old cat, Suzie for about 18 months after her previous cat, who she’d had from a kitten sadly had to be put down. I took her, as mum was too upset to, and she’d sat up all night with her after she had one fit after another.
Anyhow when mum became ill in Jan, before we knew what the problem was I kept telling her that she had to get better, as this poor cat had already been rehomed once, when her previous owner went into hospital and then sheltered accommodation and was unable to look after her.
When we were told mum was terminally ill and didn’t have long left we gave Suzie to the Cats Protection League to be rehomed. That’s where she came from originally.
I kept wondering what had happened to her as she was a very timid cat and had really settled with mum. A few weeks ago I contacted the CPL volunteer who had taken her and was so pleased and relieved to hear that she was very settled in a new home. It really put my mind at rest to know that she was happy. I’d have taken her, but she doesn’t get on with other cats.
I’m so sorry to hear of all your losses Sue. My mum was 80 when she died, would have been 81 in August. Dad died in Oct 2007, aged 67. I am also single and childless with a brother in Scotland who so far I’ve seen every few months. We’ve had to be in regular contact due to selling mum’s house, but when that finally goes through I don’t expect that I’ll hear from him much. So I can really empathise with the feeling alone. I’m so pleased that you’re happy and settled in Norfolk. I too am having bereavement counselling via the local hospice where mum died which is due to end soon.
I was doing really well and then everything got churned up again and it’s been really raw the past week and a half, but I guess that’s the nature of grief.
Take care. Blessings from another Sue
Ahhh I’m glad the cat has settled in her new home😻, I’m a huge animal lover, probably prefer them to people if I’m honest.
Your situation sounds very similar, as my brother and I worked well together dealing with all the probate stuff etc, and although he was getting divorced in the middle of it all, he’d already got himself another partner and actually married her last year, so I don’t really hear from him now. It’s tough but it is what it is, and I’m lucky to have some amazing friends. I’m glad I’ve made the move, it’s still very hard and overwhelming, but I’m searching out the positives to help me try and move forward but yeh quite often it can be a very lonely journey. I hope you find the support you need as well, it’s tough but I’m glad I’ve reached out today, Take care x
Hi…. Sending you lots of love. Gosh your situation is so very similar to mine. Lost both my mum and dad to cancer in the last few years. Losing my mum was and continues to be horrific. I miss her so very much… the pain is still indescribable. I too am single, with no family. I do have a brother but he has cut me out of his and his sons’ lives because I wouldn’t agree to him getting an extra £20000 from my mum’s estate even though my mum’s will absolutely did not say that. I’m also a cat lady with 2 of my own plus an extra 2 of my mum’s who I adopted after she died. I’ve also gone through a very traumatic time in my career, being bullied by an extremely toxic boss. I resigned in the summer with no job to go to because mentally, I couldn’t tolerate it any more. I do feel I need bereavement counselling as I am so unhappy, with nothing to look forward to. I’m miserable and lonely all the time. I was always a pretty easy going, relaxed and happy person but the past few years have completely changed everything for the worse…… so I 100% know and understand how you feel. I wish I could give you some fantastic advice to help you but I honestly haven’t worked out how to cope myself yet. It’s flipping hard isn’t it. I know I will never be happy again …. just hoping I can find a way to feel less dreadful than I do. Look after yourself …… one day at a time eh x
Hi Jazzy
I’m so sorry for everything that you’re going through. Life can be incredibly hard. Do you have good friends who you can talk to? As they can take the place of family and to be honest my friends have been much more supportive than my family. This grief journey is hard isn’t it and can be incredibly lonely? I find the most supportive people are those who have been through it themselves.
Are there any groups locally that you could join to meet people? Our art group has been meeting up again since the summer and I find that a good source of support. Although I know it’s hard going somewhere new when you’re feeling rubbish. Someone found that for me by looking on our local council page where apparently there is a list of activities in the area. Google and Facebook are great ways finding out of things going on locally, and if you’re nervous of going you could always message the organiser and explain that you’d like to come but are really scared of making that first move, you might be surprised how supportive they are. They might even suggest meeting up with you beforehand to put you at ease.
Take care, look after yourself and keep warm.