My husband died in October 20, today I am overwhelmed, cant really function, crying, house a mess, cant get going.
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Hello @BMJ, I’m so sorry you’re feeling so overwhelmed right now. I’m just giving your thread a gentle bump - hopefully someone will be along to offer their support. 
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It can be so overwhelming and it doesn’t matter if they went days, weeks, months or years ago. I believe that when you’ve been so close to someone and they were a huge part of your life there will be days however long ago it happened when you won’t be able to cope. I know it’s hard to think positively but I do try and think of the good times we had over the years even though it’s very painful (My husband left me nearly 6 months ago) and I do cry a lot. I think you wouldn’t be normal if you didn’t still have these sorts of emotions it shows how much you really cared.
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Sorry to here
I know it is hard and the time of our ones passing doesn’t seem to get better as time goes on. Sometimes it seems like you are sort of coping then this wave of grief and pain hits you and you feel you are back at the start of the journey. For me it is only 3 months so guess early days so still have days when it hits bad and days better but not good.
Yesterday was a day of sadness it would have been our 36 wedding anniversary and i was unhappy because he was not here to share this with me. I only can hold on to the memories we had in the 35 years together not ideal but something positive.
Days do go by slowly and months fast.
I am sure that there will be days months years when the wave comes back to remind us of our losses but learning to cope with this might take some time to do.
Take care x
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