My husband died just 1 month ago. It was 1 week from diagnosis to death. It was 2 days before his birthday and next week we would have been married 50 years. He was not just my love but also my carer. I am struggling with grief and crying just about all the time whilst trying to figure out how to do the simple day to day things with my mobility issues. I feel I need to get back into society but just don’t feel I can whilst I will suddenly start crying. I can’t sleep but also due to health issues can’t take sleeping pills. I keep being told I will feel better but I want to know when. Lucky with wonderful supportive neighbours. Can’t burden my brother as his wife currently has terminal cancer. It is not known how long she has but it is months not years. Doesn’t help that finances are also up in the air at present. They will be fine but could take up to 3 months. I just feel I need a hug
Hi @Pudding,
I feel your pain. Sometimes all you want is to be held. To be told that everything will be ok. It’s a very lonely existence, living without the love of your life, I can only imagine how much harder it is for you that he was your carer also. I am glad you have good neighbours around. I’m sure you don’t want to burden your brother but I’m also sure he wouldn’t want you feeling this way and not being able to talk to him about it. I would reach out if I were you. He may appreciate the distraction from his own worries. Take care of yourself, as best you can. You are not alone!! Sending big hugs your way x
Hello @Pudding So sorry you find yourself in this difficult situation. Having mobility issues must make it so much worse.
Your still at the very early stages of coping with your loss I’m afraid and no one can say when any of us will feel better it doesn’t happen all at once. 50 years of marriage is a long time and you must expect to grieve.
Have you thought of contacting your local Age UK as they can help with sorting out finances and some possible help for you.
Don’t try to rush yourself and take things easy, expect to cry it is a part of grieving.
xx
I have an excellent financial adviser and I will be much better off in the long term but at present everything just seems to go wrong. The door on my freezer was left slightly ajar and I nearly lost all the food. My e mail suddenly stopped working. I even had a scam phone call pretending to be from my bank this morning.
Hi Pudding
All sounds familier I’m afraid. I began to think I was being tested in some way.
Not only did my email play up I had three laptops and the wifi go down in four months. I have had my credit card hacked into twice. Numerous other things gone wrong including the gas boiler (twice). But I am now much more conversant with technology.
Pat
xx
Next week will be really bad as the 14th would have been our 50th wedding anniversary. Just a few months ago we were planning a party and praying it would be dry or all the people couldn’t fit in our bungalow. Thanks Pat. I was starting to think it was just me. Hopefully i won’t have all of your problems.
Oh bless you. Have you tried night Kalms ? You can get them from chemist ? They help you sleep ! Just need to check you medication with the chemist so it doesn’t clash ? Also.i spray lavendar on my pillow , thats really good !! and i have a bath or shower before i go to bed xxx
Thank you. Might try the lavender. Can’t take meds as i have sleep apnoea. Doctor worried as I am now alone I could fall into a deep sleep and not wake up.
Yep you can get pillow spray in lavender ! Really good you know xx and a bath in relaxing bath salts … i got some other day with CBD in from morrisons !!! !that helped me sleep 
xx
Don’t have a bath. Due to mobility can only shower and not safe to do so without my carers but lovely idea. I’ll have to imagine a bath
Get some nice shower gel then ? Relaxing shower gel xxx
I am so very sorry for your loss and understand how lost and lonely you must feel without your beloved husband. It is 13 months since l lost my darling husband Paul. We met at 17 yrs of age and were 3 days short of our 48th wedding anniversary when l lost him. He was my world and was just about to retire at 67.
I too felt that l couldn’t meet people l knew because all l could do was cry whenever anyone sympathised and were kind and feared l would upset people.
Hang in there because it is so early for you and so raw.
I still cry every single day but l am not such a wreck. I miss my Paul with every beat of my heart and l always will. Love lasts forever and your lovely husband will always be with you. It is so hard but all l can say is a year on l smile at the memories and videos of us together bring me comfort, along with the inevitable tears. I have a wonderful family and friends but life will never be the same without my lovely husband - how could it be? I find comfort knowing we’ll be together again one day and until then l will treasure all those wonderful memories. Please ask for help and take care of yourself because your dear husband would want it. Sending a big hug. xx
And here I am a new day and crying again. My sister in laws suggestion - perhaps get a cat. Just what I need. More expense. I am having enough problems looking after myself. I wish my other sister in law lived closer. She sends me hugs whenever she speaks to me which is often. Even
My annuity company has it in for me. For some reason they suspended my annuity. Now sorted with an apology. I suppose I can look forward to the flowers from the my bank. Called them yesterday about a scam call and as I am a long standing customer when he heard of my loss the young man in the phone is going to send me some flowers from the bank.
Aw how lovely of them !!! And know the feeling im crying today too … does it ever stop ??? My son and daughter did a run for their dad and raised £500 final total towards cancer research ! I wish it couldve saved their dad though ! He was so very loved and we didnt want him to go but he was taken anyway ! 
so very cruel xxx
My niece and great niece also ran for cancer reasearch and raised £500.
Has anyone suffered digestive problems? Another long day ahead.
Hi pudding i suffer with acid reflux on medication for that every day .At the moment realey suffering with arthritis all joints hurting and do worry about getting older .my family live in Ireland .I dont drive .Dread winter coming on .Xxx
Hi Hope5. I too suffer with reflux. We are probably in the same meds. I have arthritis in knees, hips and back. I used to drive but am bad enough in mobility scooter now. Access to town not safe in scooter due to either narrow pavements or no pavements. At least my family are a little closer than Ireland but Essex, Hertfordshire and Manchester are not exactly close to Somerset. I think we are kindred spirits. Xx
Ye think so .Ive thought of on line shopping for winter .How do you manage for shopping ect ?.Im 12 weeks in from losing Grey and its so hard lonliness is the worst .He took me everywhere i wanted to go bless him .So lots of big changes from now on which im not looking forward too wish my daughter still lived round the corner but that wont ever happen xxx
I use online shopping with Waitrose and Asda and delivery. You need a minimum spend with Waitrose of £40 but Asda you can pay a charge for smaller shops. For the odd loaf of bread I can ask my neighbours. There is also a service called milk and more but don’t know if it’s available in your area. It seems expensive. Problem I have is access to cash. Fortunately I have someone I really trust and can transfer money into their account and they will then bring me cash. I am also investigating community transport to get me to social events run at our local centre when I feel up to it. Just too early.