I lost the love of my life 4 weeks ago after 42 years together. It was only 6 weeks after we found out he was ill.
We married 12 years ago and it was the best day of our lives.
I cannot believe he is gone and the grief is overwhelming. I try to keep busy and go out but its just a front, inside I’m broken.
Although i have support from family and friends I feel so alone. I dont sleep very well and although I’m trying to eat I really dont enjoy anything, everything tastes the same. I cant believe how much I cry, where do the tears all come from
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I understand where you’re coming from. I lost my husband in October last year after a battle with cancer. I knew it was coming but it was still a huge shock to my system. I am lucky to have 2 children, 5 grandchildren & am close to my brother & sister - I’m not lonely and yet I have never felt so alone. We were 16 when we met, grew up together & were together 46 years - I don’t know how to BE without him. I find I have to take each day as it comes. Work helps me with structure in my life so I’m grateful I didn’t retire, but I know I’m not functioning at full capacity. I just feel so lost. My advice would be to keep putting one foot in front of the other, do what you feel able to & don’t beat yourself up if you don’t feel you can do anything that day.
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Thankyou Jasmine.
Like you I have 2 children and 5 grandchildren, plus I have step children and grandchildren.
I know just what you mean when you say you are not lonely but feel so alone.
I know I have a long journey ahead of me and I am trying, as you said, to take one day at a time, but it is so hard and I just dont feel I’ll ever get any better. I know its early days but I promised my husband I’d be ok and its that promise that will get me through, eventually.
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Hi @Liro
4 weeks is a very short time. I still feel totally empty and lost after nearly 4 months. I don’t know how I will get through the rest of my life without my partner. Some days are harder than others, it’s good you’ve got your family supporting you but they won’t understand how you are feeling deep down. Take care .
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Thankyou Vixen.
I know its only going to get harder and I’m lucky to have support, but as you ssy dep fown they cant understand how broken I feel. The many tears keep coming and although they say its òk I cant help but wonder if they find it too much.
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@Liro
They have their own grief to deal with and it’s not the same as yours. I try not to be too honest to people about how I feel but sometimes you just have to open up as it’s too painful to keep it all inside.
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Dear @Liro
I am sorry to hear of the loss of your husband. There are no words to describe the pain of losing your partner, it is understandable you feel alone having been together for an amazing 42 years.
There is an article by Sue Ryder Losing a Partner , it may be of help to you along with the following resources. The Grief Coach may especially be of help to you.
- The self-help platform which has information, resources and advice to help you through your grief Grief Guide
- Grief Coach text service, which sends you personalised text support via SMS. This service is also useful for family and friends
- Information on the Stages of Grief
- Bereavement Information pages which can walk you through what you are going through
There is an organisation called AtALoss which helps bereaved people find support and well-being. It may well be worth you taking a look at the website for support. You can also enter your location on the website to see if there are any support groups in your area.
There is also an organisation called The Silver Line which is run by Age UK which offers friendship, support and guidance. There is a helpline available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on 0800 4 70 80 90. It might be helpful to you to look at their website.
You need to take one day at a time and be gentle with yourself as you are still in the very early stages of bereavement. It is a horrible roller coaster ride of emotions. We the Community are here for you, you are not alone, we understand the pain of losing a loved one. Keep talking to us here. Take care of yourself.
Peppers xx
Thank you all so much for your support and kindness. It means so much to know that people who really understand are reaching out to me. I hope in the future to be able to reach out and help others.
As you said it is still very new and raw. The funeral is Friday of next week and I don’t know if I want it to come or not. Its been such a long time waiting that its like being in a pit I can’t climb out of. After the funeral I will have to try to make that climb and I dont know if I’m strong enough.
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