I lost my Dad on 9th November 2020, after he fell and fractured his spine in two places, it was during COVID which made things so much worse, he had heart failure, renal failure and ankolosing spondylitis which exasperated the severity of the fractures. Thankfully I was allowed to be with my Dad and I watched him over 5 months deteriorating and suffering a medication overdose putting him in ICU, a pulmonary adema and severe bleeding from a duodenal ulcer. In his final three weeks at home I watched him loose consciousness and take his final breath. On 9th May this year the day started like any other, until my mother complained of a dreadful headache and was violently sick, then the seizures began. I held my mother tight telling her everything was going to be ok. At the hospital we were told she’d suffered a severe brain hemmerage, leaving her paralysed, unable to speak or swallow. Mom never regained consciousness during the following week, we just watched her deteriorating and could do nothing. I’m now living alone for the first time in 61 years, my main purpose in life loving and taking care of my parents no longer exists. Life is so empty now, so quiet, I feel hollow apart from the overwhelming grief. One moment I think I’m being strong and doing ok, the next I’m sobbing and feel like my insides are screaming for them both. How do you carry on, how do you survive such pain, I know I have no choice and I have to pull myself together and try to focus on getting through the days, weeks, months ahead. But some days I just can’t find the strength to put on a brave face and mask how torn apart I’m feeling.
Hello, I’m so sorry for your losses. My heart goes out to you.
Hi peter i lost my mum in march and truly believe the person i was went with her. I am no longer the same person i was. As i am sitting writing this to you, my mums funeral song has started to play on the radio. Its is heartbreaking and so painful and there is no words that will help you, its an individual journey, but talking to others, especially on here, as others are going through the same and youll realise you arent on your own. Big hugs to you x
Thank you, I never knew how much my mum really meant to me until now. She was the only person who ever loved me unconditionally, and I regret not having done more for her while she was here. Hugs to you.
Woke this morning and as soon as I opened my eyes the tears fell, a silent house.
What I wouldn’t give to have her here with me to just do the normal small stuff, a cuppa together, early morning chat before getting ready for the day ahead.
Spending each day together,
wishing her good night each evening
I thought we had more time, but I’ve learnt tomorrow is promised to no one.
How do you carry on…
There is no fast fix and everyone is different. I let the tears flow when they do and normally there is no warning when that happens some days i dont want to get out of bed or go to work but you have too. I try to remember my mum would be telling me to live, i just take each day as it comes, big hugs to you xxx