My mum passed away july 2021 ,we were really close, i saw her 4 or 5 times a week.
I always knew it would be hard without mum, but was never prepared for this.
I still lie awake some nights and still cry , the emptiness i feel without her all the time is overwhelming.
Have got really good at hiding my feelings around other people, but on my own there is no where to hide.
Am married but my husband says it upsets him because there is nothing he can do to help, so i try not to get upset in front of him.
Am just totally exhausted feeling like this all the time, mum is in my thoughts every day, i don’t know how to feel like me anymore without her.
I even fell out with one of my oldest friends because her parents are elderly and her dad has dementia and she hardly ever see,s them,she is only interested in meeting her friends .
I would give anything just to have one more day with mum, so many things i wish i had said.
Just to be able to hold her again , and hear her voice.
I did try counselling, but it didn’t help.
When i have bad days and cry sometimes feels like the tears are never going to stop.
I can be around people but still feel totally alone.
I don’t know what the answer is anymore, just know that the pain i feel every day is real. And am so tired of it. I know if there was a rewind button we would all press it but sadly life is not that easy
Hi jasmine195, i can totally relate to you. I lost my nan 6 months ago i feel so sad and upset as much as i did the day she passed. I write to my nan every morning just what i would be doing etc she was more like my mum as she raised myself and my brother. people say oh remember the days you had with her and i do but i cry every single day. lots of people say your nan wouldnt want you to feel like this but i cant help it. so sorry for your loss. always here if you want to message.
also my daughters called Jasmine
lots of love hugs
Chelle x
Hi, Jasmine 195. I’m really sorry for your loss and I can empathise with you because my mom died one week ago. I had no idea how devastating it was going to be because it is only when they’ve gone that you really miss them being there. Now, I only have to see something around the house or experience some long-forgotten memory that reminds me of her to set me crying. I never left home and lived with my mom and dad all my life so I’ve never known what it’s like to live with anyone else like a wife and or kids. I think this makes it that much harder. I also feel a lot of guilt because I was her main carer up until she died and I cringe when I think of the times I lost my patience with her when trying to change her or move her. It was never her fault as she had dementia and double incontinence and, in the end, no mobility, and I feel I should have been more patient. She was nearly 94 so she had a good run but when I think of how attractive she was as a younger woman and so full of life it really upsets me. I think there is no easy solution to grief and I guess different people need different amounts of time and ways to at least come to terms with it. Anyway, Just posting here makes me feel a bit better as we are all sharing our grief with one another which, for me anyway, makes the sense of isolation less. Lots of love.
Chelle-luan, very sorry for your loss I’m only beginning to experience what it’s like to lose a loved one myself so I feel for you.
hiya, its awful i cry so much everyday 
sorry for your loss too
love chelle xx
Hello chelle. Just a little message to see how you are today, hope your feeling ok , jasmine x
Hi jasmine195, I am so sorry for your loss. My mum passed away on the 6th of August 2023. I dont know how i am going to carry on. I dont even have words to express myself . Reading your post made me cry. I hope you find peace within urself. 
Hello Numb, am so sorry that you lost your mum. My mum has been gone to years now, but i still cry. I found its the only way i can cope. Every ones grief is different, but i found when i,m having a really bad day, talking on hear helps. It doesn’t take away the pain but reminds me i am not alone. I hope you find peace too x
Thank you. I cant stop crying too. Getting out of bed feels impossible. Im a single mum so doing anything feels like im climbing a mountain. I really hope so too. Xx
Hello always here if you need to talk x
Oh guys I’m feeling the same.
I lost mine in march this year and I don’t know who I am anymore without my Mum.
I’m just sad all the time and have no idea how it will ever get better.
I feel bad for constantly going on about it with my partner to especially seen as he lost his Grandad not long before my Mum passed.
This year has been so rough for the both of us.
I write to my mum a lot telling her about my thoughts and feelings or just to tell her about my day, I also read a lot of books about the afterlife as it provides me with a little bit of comfort but definitely doesn’t take the pain away.
Hi jess, really sorry that you lost your mum. I totally understand how you feel, i try not to talk about mum all the time in from of my husband, because i think he must get fed up with it. Its nice that you write to your mum, i talk to my mums photo sometimes, hoping that she can hear me. We all need to do what ever helps. What ever gets us through this pain of not having our mums. I have been reading a book by David drew about afterlife, it really helped. Am always hear if you need to talk . X
I talk to my mums photo to and always give it a kiss goodnight before bed and hope so much that she is around in another form to see it.
Our mums are never far, they see and hear us. Your mum knows you love her. X
She has actually shown me but I swing from believing then not believing lol but love can’t just go end like that
Hi Jasmine, im not too good its 6 days till my nan’s 1 year anniversary. How are you doing ??
love chelle x
Hello chelle, sorry for the late reply.
This week has been really tough, just can’t stop crying. Its been 2 years now, but its still so hard without mum.
I thought by now i might start to feel more like the old me again but i don’t.
I just miss her so much. She’s in my thoughts all the time.
I really hope that you are having a better week x