A week today Martin died at 2.30 am , can anyone help me with this pain , I can’t bare it xxx I’m glad he’s out of his suffering but I’m so so sad for all the good times he will never get to have , I’m missing him so very much xx


Dear @Martju

I am sorry to hear of the loss of your partner and for the pain you are going through.

I would like to share a few resources by Sue Ryder which may be of help and support to you at this time.

You can also connect with members here by using the search bar above who have been in a similar situation as yourself. If you have not done so already, it may be worth booking an appointment with you doctor to let them know how you are feeling and as to how they can support you.

You are not alone and we all understand what you are going through, please continue to reach out at any time.

Take care.


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I’m so sorry to hear of your loss and I feel your pain. All I can say is I understand the awful pain you are in and all I can say is that eventually your pain will subside but I cannot say it will ever go completely. Just that you will deal with your grief better. Just remember with great love does mean great grief. We are lucky to have had that great love.b . Not everyone does xxx


We would take that pain away if only we could but remember, the tears you shed are just love with nowhere to go. You will still be in shock and disbelief which are so awful to live with but perfectly normal.
I was told that ‘whatever you are feeling is exactly how you should be feeling.’ That sounded sensible to me as each day is different in some ways.
I am over nine months in to this awful journey and even though it is hard, the pain is less intense and the tears less debilitating. I even go some days without them - then the guilt at doing so takes over but that’s another story.

You have also found this forum which has so many supportive people on it I am sure you will find some comfort from knowing that we understand each other.
I could not have imagined the pain of this grief, losing me beloved husband. It goes beyond anything I have been through before.

Pleas keep posting and asking for any help we can give. I know virtual hugs are not a patch on real ones but have one anyway. xxx

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I am so sorry for your loss. It is very difficult to come to terms with it but be brave and look for the best times you can remember, they help xx John

Here for you if ever you want some comforting words take care and we are always here for you x

Went back to see mart again today , in my heart I know he’s not in his body but sat and talked to him ( well cried mainly ) . Still have a long wait for funeral as Irish family want things too and I’m trying to accommodate all their wishes . But where is he ? I’ve sat in the garden in the sun today where he used to sit and not there , he’s not in our house , I’m scared he’s gone forever , I’ve shouted at him today that I’ve been to see him twice and he hasn’t been to see me , we are soul mates so would he leave me ? I can’t breathe without pain , I’m worn out with crying I’m must look like a mad woman to anyone who sees me xxx is this normal ??? Please please someone let me know he will come home xxx


He is within you. Part of who you are is made up of the two of you and his influence on who you are now so he can never leave you. Plus the laws of physics mean that nothing can be created or destroyed, simply changes. Our loved ones are not made up of their bodies as otherwise those who have amputations would lose part of who they were but they don’t. We are whatever is inside us - our souls, so that still exists and one day yous will reunite with his.
Hugs xxx


Thankyou , I’m in hell right now xx