Painful Anniversaries

Last year on the 28th of May, my mum had a fall in the garden. Then the whole nightmare began. She had terrible pain that got worse and then she ended up in hospital. She never walked properly again, despite fighting to regain temporarily her ability to walk with a frame, whilst in hospital.
We then had to endure 5 slow terrible months of decline till her death in October. When I say ‘we’, I mean mum and I, together.
I now have health problems with no explanation, and am wondering if I am reliving last year. I must stop if I am. I must tell myself I am not my mum. Try not to relive and remember through all the dreadful anniversaries of declines and hospital visits and procedures; that led to her death the day before her birthday. But it’s so hard being alone.

Hi @Helencl,

You’ve taken a brave step reaching out for support. I’m hearing how tough the loss of your mum has been on you which is understandable to hear. It sounds like you are struggling being alone which can be really tough to experience. Those feelings of loneliness can be really difficult and it sounds like you were both so close.

You mentioned that you are experiencing health problems, are you receiving any support from your GP or any other services at the moment for your health or grief?

We’re all here for you. Keep reaching out anytime you’d like someone to talk to :yellow_heart:

Thank you for your sympathy. Yes I am getting help, but especially with the health issues it is all taking a very long time, and my doctor said he doesn’t know what it is. There seems to be an absence of understanding about how badly it is restricting my life, and therefore no urgency and I’m pretty sure it being put down to, all my head or exaggeration. Particularly as I can’t produce the symptoms on cue at 9am, that become worse at night and affect my sleep! 'oh well , it’s intermittent…: