Painful memories

So I was looking at grief yoga and it was suggested to get into the corpse position, what a trigger bringing back the worst memories !!! I’ve cried all evening with flashbacks of my lovely husband contorted and struggling for his last breaths for hours on end finally losing his battle, it’s so painful to remember and my heart is breaking for both of us, together forever, rest in peace my darling xx

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I have that nightmare as well with my lovely wife taking her last breath ,gasping for air.Cannot get that image out of my head and it is driving me insane.I watched her struggle with pain for 7 weeks in hospital and then at the hospice where she passed away 4 days later.Living hell.Michael.

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The days are seeming longer and I notice I prefer being on my own now at home, it’s more peaceful and there’s no stress pretending that everything is ok, I’m not looking forward to Xmas, I’ve always loved Xmas but I’m thinking I need to gather all my strength to get through, I’ve just arranged to inter my husbands ashes on his birthday so it’s two milestones together hopefully to make it easier for me, and hopefully i can start to remember the good times and not so much the illness, thinking of you and everyone else suffering on this site, we can stumble through our grief together xx

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It is ok to be on your own some of the time but now and again it is nice to talk to a friend or relative.When ever I stay with my Daughter I always long to go back home.Strange that.We are all suffering with this terrible grief and trying to get through everyday living with the pain and feeling of wanting to be sick ,unable to eat properly,what a mess we are all in,I feel so sorry for all of us who have suffered this horrendous blow to our lives.It will never never be the same .Michael.

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I am having a really bad day now,in this house all alone and crying my eyes out for her.Cannot play any music because it reminds me of her too much,so sitting in silence.TV my only friend today.Michael.

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Thinking of you xx

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I do know what you mean about music Michael, it’s hard to listen as certain songs remind me of my husband and I just have to switch the radio off. Glad you can take some solace from the TV. It will help you. I really hope you’ll be ok. Is there someone you can ring just for a little chat maybe?
Thinking of you, we understand how you’re feeling

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Hi yes I have a couple of lovely people that I ring when the panic sets in and it does calm me down and they do not mind me ringing them anytime I need to.Good friends indeed.We loved our music but I cannot listen to it anymore just makes me cry out for her.My darling Judith is gone and I miss her so very much,all alone in this house now which is no longer a home it is a prison.Michael.

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I understand what you are going through I did find after a while to have councelling as I started getting anxiety and it did help from our local hospice but my husband died unexpected at home from heart condition. My family have been brilliant but sometimes I do like to just be indoors on my own . This will be my second Xmas without him .

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Nice to know you understand my pain and grief for my wife.Second Xmas without him,this will br my first without the one who made Xmas for us.Miss her so much Michael.

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I have just booked a turkey tinsel holiday not far from where I live on my own but I’m going to enjoy it it’s nice to meet new friends and people .

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Well done ,I have thought about doing that ,you are very brave.Where are you going?Michael.

I’m going to Eastbourne I live in hastings not too far nice hotel in December .

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Oh my wife was born in Hastings in the old town,then she moved to Crawley then to Essex where she met me.Went to Eastbourne 3 years ago for a short break stayed at The White Rocks hotel.Have a good day if you can Michael.

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