Dear Marshmallow
All hospitals have their own complaints procedure and you should be able to find this information on their website.
All I can do is tell you how I went about raising my concerns with the hospital that treated my late fiancé.
In the weeks immediately following his death, I put to paper a detailed account of everything that happened during my final days with him at the hospital; dates, times, personnel. I spoke at length with my GP, and nurses and experts at McMillan Cancer Support, online, over the phone and even face to face by popping in to my local hospital and visiting the McMillan desk on site. I obtained further advice and support from PALS at a different hospital because in some areas, PALS also provide complaint handling for the hospital they are based at and therefore are not always independent. Everyone I spoke to understood my concerns and gave me encouragement and strength to raise them with the hospital.
I was advised not to speak or write to any of the doctors or consultants involved in my partner’s care but to raise my concerns in writing to the hospital trust or to the Chief Executive of the hospital. Again, you should be able to find these details on the hospital’s website.
At the same time I was of course also grieving the loss of my partner and having to deal with various administrative matters relating to his death. I was advised by the PALS office I had previously consulted to also copy my letter to the PHSO due to the approaching time limit (1 year). The PHSO will not take on your complaint until you have completed the complaint process with the hospital but you will get a case reference number.
The response I received from the Chief Executive of the hospital was wholly inadequate on a scale that caused a great deal of upset and I set about drafting my reply. But as progress was made in my second letter I had growing concerns about the medical records that had been sent. This prompted telephone calls to the hospital’s Records Department and numerous emails back and forth, which culminated in finally receiving a copy of the Clinical Notes Journal which included hundreds of pages missing from the first set of records sent to me. I learned new and significant details about the care provided to my partner and also gained an insight into the approach to documentation taken by the hospital, bringing forth new areas of concern. It was a monumental and emotional task reading and rereading these new clinical notes and collating all the relevant information. I worked on this day and night for 6 months through to late New Year’s Eve 2021 to complete and send my second letter to the hospital. I did not receive a final response to my letter until some 15 months later. The complaint has been one of the most difficult and emotional things I have ever done in my life and when I began the process I expected the hospital to properly re-examine and genuinely reflect upon the decisions made, taking into account all the circumstances known to both sides. I never ever imagined for a moment that in their responses they would dispute the very circumstances themselves. Nor did I ever foresee that I could be made to feel even worse for speaking out and doing the right thing.
It is 223 weeks since my partner died and I still shed tears multiple times a day and struggle with intense debilitating feelings of grief, deep sadness and despair but I am also filled with immense anger and bitterness at the hospital who have gaslighted me in my grief but I owe it to my partner’s memory and to myself to stand up to the injustices that occurred and somehow I have come this far.
If something didn’t feel right with your loved one’s care you need a chance to put your concerns to the hospital trust or the Chief Executive; only they can investigate and explain what decisions were made and why.
I hope this helps. I wish you all the very best.
