i have been tojd by the doctor that my husband has only weeks to live instead of months ,he has pancreatic cancer,how do i deal with news ?
I don’t know, is there honest answer. I hope someone who has experience of this will step forward. But I just wanted you to know you have been heard.
My partner died suddenly and unexpectedly. If he is able, make the most of the time you have left. Say everything you want to say and share want he wants for you after. Some people struggle with what there partner wanted for them if they died. It’s just if you have the chance just spend as much time together and talk. I didn’t get that opportunity and wish for it every day.
I’m so sorry you are having to both go through this, it’s so hard and unbearable.
I hope others come forward to give you some advice.
My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on a wednesday, came out of hospital on the friday and died 8 days later. He was a healtthy fit 75 year old due to walk Hadrians wall the following week. My advice make every moment count. After the following wednesday Steve was lost. Miss him so much
thank you so much
@lucycat my good friend and neighbour had this, she was diagnosed in the oct and died in the feb. she tried to make the best of it, knowing she would die and did up till about a week before. she didnt want to go into a hospice or anything like that but she had help from them in her home, they were very good. all you can do is make the best of it and be there. this is one of the harder diseases as there is no cure. hugs
Iv just lost my husband in july to this he was only 46, was very quick we got told and 4 weeks later he was gone the shock of it happening so quick really hits you the most spend as much time with him as tou can i had just lost my mam 37 days previous and i had so much to do and i feel guilty as i should of spent that time with my husband x
So sorry to hear that my hubby past with it 5 years ago and it is definitely not easy. Reach out to any help you can get it will happen and family and friends really are needed not just now but in the years to come. Make sure you tell hubby everything you want to say now - don’t wait. My thoughts are with you at the awful time in both your lives.
So, so sorry to hear this. My wife was diagnosed with it in 2021. She had intense chemo and then a 10 hour operation and was showing her body to be free of cancer cells. She was then subject to lot of uneccessary stress and the cancer came back in her liver and bile duct. More chemo, operations and imunotherapy. She then went back into the Marsden and was there for 3 weeks during which time she lost the ability to eat and relied on drinks only. Tube through her nose to drain the bile from her stomach.
They wanted her to go into a hospice but she wanted to be in her own bed at home, which was where she ended up for Christmas. She passed away last week. I wont go into details because it is too painful but suffice to say she lost most of her hair in the last few days and was only 4 stone when she went.
She was a strong woman, far stronger than me, and a real fighter. It will be hard but you must be strong for your partner’s sake. I am finding it really hard as after 57 years I now have no wingman.
We had a wonderful life together and had adventures around the world and we were planning our next cruises while she was in hospital. It was an act for both of us but took our minds off of the truth.
Be strong for the sake of your partner, cry when they can’t see you, and may your God go with you.
i will tell you a story about my friend doreen who died of this. she lived 4 months and had always had a thing about meekats. ornaments, books, cuddlys the lot. we were going to a local zoo type place where you could meet and greet them but she couldnt go. so i ofund a place quite close that took meekets and other animals to schools etc. i got in touch and explained her situation and asked how much it would cost to bring a couple down for her to see as she had never seen a real one. i couldnt really afford it but i didnt care within reason. They got in touch and said if i paid petrol they would bring down 2 babies. me and her daughter never told her and on the day her little face was a picture, she couldnt beleive it and was over the moon. sadly she died a week later but the pics were shown at her funeral.
Hello, I’m so sorry. My lovely husband died of a rare pancreatic cancer in September 2023 after being diagnosed in May 2023. He was 54. He suffered through chemo and pain just for the smallest chance of just a bit longer with myself and the kids. It’s early days but Mark speaking to me in small videos that he filmed are my go to that I treasure. I love to hear his voice. We loved each other so much but became even closer if possible by spending each day and night together along with our kids. Work went on hold, time together making memories was so much more important. If possible try not to grieve him before he’s gone, there’s plenty time for that. I’ve been grieving for almost 4 months and it seems like a lifetime.
I am so sorry for all of you, my son aged 47, loved life and he loved people. He died of secondary bone cancer on the 17th of July 2023.they think the primary might have been a 20mm ulcer in the stomach. It hurt because ,he was born with mild cerebral palsy. So he was very late walking ,the cancer took away him being able to walk . But through out he was always laughing and joking. When we used to visit him in rehabilitation where he spent some time in , my husband would say can I see what is on the tv .He would say no you can’t, I call the nurse,then with a cheeky smile he would hold the alarm button and make out he was going to press it.
They need more research into these very hard cancer , there has been no improvement for 40 years into these cancers. Yet cancer of the breast,prostrate,have had a lot invested in them. These cancer are now affecting very young people,mostly because of not much research. we miss him so much it hurts
That’s so sad. You sound a very close and loving family. Your boy died on Mark’s last birthday. Mark had every investigation possible for 10 months and they were all negative. The doctors kept looking due to the pain he was in and they finally found a very small abnormality in April. It was very aggressive and he died in the September. I get very frustrated with the research adverts on the TV about early detection of cancers. If they have some form of scan that actually worked to find this rare cancer it would have been caught early but the scans and blood tests showed nothing. Thank you so much for replying, it was very kind of you.
It truly is one of the worse cancers to detect and treat. As you say most of the other cancers have a far higher survival rate. I had colorectal cancer in lockdown and I’m still here, although at the moment I have doubts if I want to be without my lovely wife.
The Pancreatic Cancer Research Fund is a very small charity compared to the large research group and struggles for funds. My youngest son rode his 135 year old Penny Farthing from Paris to London, last June, for the charity and raised over £4,000. There appears to only be a couple of people involved with the fund raising as it is such a small charity.
My wife loved her flowers and garden but she was very anti flowers at funerals as she thought it a waste of money. I asked for no flowers but a donation to the charity and, so far, this has raised over £1000 with more pledged.
This awful disease must be researched so that people in the future have more of a chance. I really don’t want anyone else to go through what my wife went through, but without research , unfortunately, they will.
My partner passed away from metastic colorectal cancer that spread to her liver.
I don’t have any advice on dealing with end of life - I don’t believe there is any
One thing I wished my partner had done in retrospect, which is the last thing you think of at the time, is to create a video log or even a written doc for me, to talk to me and tell me things - perhaps things she couldn’t tell me face to face, to just general talk and things she needed/wanted to say
It’s not for everyone I guess, and a difficult thing to ask someone as it makes them face their mortality, but I quickly realized I had very little personal video footage of her to look back on, that wasn’t part of holidays or birthdays and the like
Also very little in way of messages etc as we were always together and there was no need
That is whatI can not understand, they have all the research into breast,postrate ,skin which is good But what about the other cancers ? They seem to have been left behind.
I’m so sorry about your wife. What a difficult few years for you both. It’s amazing what your son achieved. I realise that I should help and play a part in fund raising for better research. At the moment I feel some bitterness since it’ll not bring my lovely husband back but I’m time I’m sure that will pass. Kindest regards.
Everyone is different and I fully understand your feelings. I am finding it very difficult after being together for such a long time but I know that my wife was a very strong lady, far stronger than me, and she would be horrified if I didnt carry on as normal as possible. I do the housework and chat away to her as it helps me cope.
Try and think of it as a new chapter in your life. You will never stop loving them but life has to go on.
That’s my point of view , I just can’t understand why so much research are for the more treatable cancers,and not for the less survival ones. I can only think that when they treat those ones the cancer survival rate goes up.But what happens when they come back, which happens ,they are then less survival. I think they want more research into metastasis cancer,that is generally what kills people. There just seem to be more younger people getting it, maybe they are the ones that have gone into remission from primary?