Panic attack

First time in a little while that I’ve had a panic attrack trigger. But today at work I saw the funeral directors van that took away my brother.

Had a full blown panic attack and broke down. I thought these triggers had all gone but no

I’m sorry today has been so tough, @LJC. I’m just giving your thread a gentle bump - hopefully someone will be along to offer their support.

Panic attacks really suck. I hadnt had any for about 6 years until my sister died in march. Im a music teacher. I had to remove myself from christmas concert rehearsals cos one of the girls was singing “noone but you” which of course says “one by one only the good die young”. Ive heard her sing that loads of times, including since my sister died, but for some reason this time was too much.

Theyre just horrible things. Ive found in general grief is very physical and theres just no sense to them sometimes.

I try to remember two things. Im not dying. It feels like i am but im actually not. Plus, there’s a reason for it. Something has happened that has shaken my entire life to its core. Its going to affect me in crazy ways. Weirdly reminding myself of those things helps me calm down because i dont feel so guilty for having it - which is what always happens to me which then makes it worse.

Sorry im rambling. But its so hard when it feels like makes no sense.

Im aware your message here is 12 days old so i hope youve had some respite from them. 1