Hello. This is my first message so thought I’d explain my situation in case it resonates with anyone.
My dad died in March 2024 - suddenly and I expectantly. I adored him. We were very close. And I miss him every day. My mom was heartbroken but tried her very best despite some health issues - we were unaware of how serious these were as dad was taking care of her. Just 7 weeks after dad died, mom was diagnosed with cancer and she died exactly 10 weeks after we lost our dad.
I am numb and can’t seem to move forward. I don’t know how to grieve for both parents. The guilt at not being able to take care of my mom is overwhelming. I feel so alone and feel that I’m expected to get over it and carry on. When all I want is to have them back - I know that’ll never happen of course.
I miss them both so much. I think about them constantly. I just feel such incredible sadness and loneliness. Has anyone had anything similar happen and how did you cope with it all?
I’m so sorry to hear about your Mum. I know how hard it is especially in those early days. It’s probably all a bit of a blur. Wish I could tell you it gets easier - it does as you learn to slowly live with it but the loss and emptiness remain. I wish more than anything else I could just have a few moments more with my parents. And that’s hard to live with as you begin to accept that’s never going to happen. The best advice someone gave to me is, in those darker moment when you’re literally just broken, remember you Mum lived rather than your Mum died. It does help you think about the good times and not about the bad. I hope things get easier for you. I know they will. And thank you for checking in. That means so much. Take good care of yourself.
Thank you. I tell myself that at least I was home to take care of her and I took good care of her while she was alive - me and my siblings. Showed her all love and care, and maybe that’s enough (but I always feel we could have done more) but I know she is proud of us wherever she is. All I can do now is become the woman she would be proud of. My mum was so beautiful inside and outside. She was na angel. I tell myself she is now an Angel watching over us. Maybe I can pray to her, cos right now I’m mad at God for not saving her - who was so religious and prayed a lot.
I hope you feel better as the day goes by. They live in our hearts. My mum is my greatest gift from nature. To be born by her is a blessing. She was a good mom to us as even so many other people. The things people say about her make me so happy. Love her till eternity.