Hi everyone, I’ve always tended to be a little OCD. Now, after the loss of my husband 4 weeks ago, I am do particular, I’m doing my own head in. From straight lines to a tidy house, I just can not leave it x anyone else? Is this something I should worry about?
Hi Cinders, firstly I think you have enough to worry about so my view is no you shouldn’t worry about this specifically. If my own experience is anything to go by it seems to be quite normal to turn completely nuts in varied and exciting ways!
I am 6 wks since my husband died. I seem to get worse every day but in recent days I have become quite possessive. My mum sleeps on my husband’s side of the bed (yes I know that’s not normal either.!) these last weeks. She is looking after me but I find myself doing ittle passive aggressive nut job things like turning the toilet roll how we always had it not how she has it.
Anyway before I go on even more (another habit I now have… I go on about half hour after I should have stopped)… basically I am saying you might be weird now, but so am I. I don’t think that helps you but peace and love to you from another in this awful lonely club x
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Hi @Cinders21, I am so sorry for you loss. As @FleurDeLis says I think we all do things after the death of a loved one so I agree, I wouldn’t be too worried about it unless it starts to affect your life in a major way. We all want to cling to things that remind us of our loved one and if that’s changing the toilet roll then go for it. It isn’t doing anyone any harm and if gives you a wee bit of comfort that’s good.
You are in the very early stages of your grief and you’ve still got a hell of a way to go but we are all here to support you and help each other
Shona x
Thank you, it was my husbands funeral this morning x So a very hard day, his flowers were perfect, everything was perfect. I’m sure its all a knock on effect, trying to keep control x my love to you all, this is so hard x x x
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@Cinders21. I am glad your husbands funeral went well and you thought everything was perfect. It will help in the days to come. Sending hugs.
I’m glad the funeral went as planned. What a big milestone in this horrendous journey done.
It is really hard, breathtakingly awful. Love to you and be kind to yourself, do what you feel like doing if its crying, lying in bed or doing your own head in with too-tidy new habits x
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Hi cinders . Glad your husbands funeral went well. Iv been thinking about you today knowing how hard it would be . I’m coming up to 4 weeks now without my darling husband and having my first night alone in our home since he passed. I’m the same wanting everything perfect and getting anxious if it’s not . I feel realy anxious when I get dragged out by the kids and can’t wait to get back home. I hope I can survive tonight without losing it xx hope your ok xx
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Oh Maz, the night alone, you’re doing great x my girls stayed a full two weeks and then on thebodd night x But, I’m so lucky, we got to street party with blue neighbours during lockdown and have made some amazing friends x From the minute Steve was falling, in the space of ten days, the neighbours knew … I felt a blanket of comfort and I still do x They have played music in the street to day and applauded him out x Because of them, I don’t feel alone, they don’t come around or bother me but they have put chocolates and flowers in my porch x I would only have to shout once and they would all be here. I feel very lucky x small steps Maz x don’t be hard on yourself x x x hope you rest ok, it’s so hard x x x all the love x
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