My partner of 10 years passed away in October he was 34. I’m 36. It was out of the blue I found him and he passed in my arms. He leaves behind two daughters from his previous relationship and our son. We had a great life and lived in our own bubble. Now he’s gone and I’m so lost. I carry on because I have to for the kids, but I am struggling. I’ve lost my best friend, my love: I feel like part of me has gone I’m so empty. Everyone tells me how “strong” and “how well I’m doing” but they don’t see how I really am. I just don’t know how I will ever get back to some kind of normal
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Oh @C88j i am so sorry you have lost your husband at such a young age.
It is such early days for you and you must still be reeling from the shock.
I lost my husband last March aged 56 and we have 4 kids together, 2 of whom are teenagers. It’s been a really difficult time and your words sound so similar to mine at your stage it was easy to relate.
I’m promise it does get a bit easier and you will get through this.
It’s so difficult to try and manage all that you have to do with the children and your own grief and I absolutely get that people don’t see what is going on inside.
Use this forum if it helps - there are lots of amazing people on here willing to give some love and support when ever you need it. And we all understand where you are coming from.
I found that really helpful in the first 8 months or so. And even now.
I know it’s a cliche but it really is just one day at a time for now. Do whatever makes you feel ok and don’t do what makes you feel worse. But do also look after yourself as you need to be able to function for your children.
Sending lots of love and strength to you xxx
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I understand what you are feeling, my beloved husband of 22 years past away 23rd November, we had the funeral 20th December.
For weeks, i couldn’t sleep, eat as I felt guilty that I was here and he wasn’t, everyone tells me that im strong and can do this, truth is im struggling without him everyday, i only go out when I have to, I start crying and can’t wait until I get back home.
Now i just talk to my brother on the phone and our kids on the phone as i can be myself and tell the truth that im not ok, im struggling without him and im now on antidepressants.
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I’m sorry to here this I know how your feeling I lost my husband 3 yrs this feb after 52 years married I still feel completely lost and don’t see anyone at times I feel I would rather not be here I have got worse as time goes on people say I’m strong but I’m not I put a front on when I manage to see anyone but dream about him every night and talk to him it gives a bit of comfort it makes it worse as I suffer with anxiety and pain so can’t do much to take my mind off it I wish you all the best x
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@C88j Sending you hugs 
I completely understand, I am 14 months without the love of my life, my soul mate, my best friend! I was 41, it was sudden & unexpected, I had to give him CPR, I have never been so scared, so desperate & along with the grief, the guilt I live with everyday because I couldn’t save him! This is not the life we signed up for, we are meant to have had many more years! Everywhere I look there are couples, people in love, people with their person & each one hits hard, it should still be us! I won’t pretend it gets easier because it doesn’t but we have to keep going & just accept that life for everyone around us goes on & you have to try to keep up! The reality is we are broken & nothing can put us back together but we are survivors in fact warriors cause we are facing each day! You have got this, use the pain to keep pushing you through xx
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