My Partner Martin passed away this morning and I have come home and really don’t think I can do this , I am so sad. I miss him so much
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Michelle you will find comfort and kindness here so come back and we are here to listen. You are in shock for now and won’t remember much if the next day or so. Have you people around you?
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Dear Michelle this is so raw for you. My heart honestly hurts for the pain you are going through. You will be in shock now and it will last for several days or weeks. The shock will actually cushion some of the grief to come. Your memory and concentration will be all over the place. Please lean on any family and friends available. Tey to drink and eat just a little at a time as this will go out the window in the early days. Just try as best as possible to take care of yourself ,access all the help you can and keep posting here if it helps. This is an awful horrible time and there is no way of making it easier . It’s something we have to deal with hourly then daily until we can find a way to cope. Don’t rush anything and as lots advise keep a note book and pen handy as there will be so much beurocracy and details that will need attention in the next few weeks and months your brain won’t cope with. Ask for help from trusted people . Take it one minute at a time until you feel you can think straight. So very sorry your have been thrown into this horrible experience. Best wishes. You will get through this eventually. Unfortunately it’s a club none wants to be a member of. Take care of yourself .
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I feel your pain, I’m less than 4 weeks into my grief. Just try to take it all in.
Don’t make any rash decisions about anything. and make sure you look after yourself.
When you feel you’re ready to, communicate to anybody and everybody you know as they’ll be the ones that will help and support you over the next couples of days/weeks & months. I personally preferred to it all via text messages so I could hide my real feelings.
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Michelle the other thing I found helpful to know was expect some physical toll as Belinda says eat and drink, sleep where you can. Your body has gone through a shock too. You will have a funny tummy for ages. I still can’t tough much alcohol as it gave me terrible anxiety. look after yourself and keep talking.
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Hi Michelle,
I’m really pleased you found this group.
My wife died 8 days ago, I reached out here on Sunday when I was very low and got several lovely replies offering great advice and kindness.
My advice for what it’s worth.
Try to stick to a normal routine. Wake up the same time, shower, have breakfast, lunch and dinner (you may not enjoy it, but have something).
Drink water.
Get some fresh air, go for a walk.
I find it helpful to talk to my wife. I tell her what I’m thinking, what I’m feeling and how I miss her.
Allow yourself to cry in front of others. Don’t hold it in.
Lean on friends and family. Be honest and tell them when you need them. I struggled with this for the first couple of days, but on Monday this week I broke down at the vets. Nobody judged me and the vet just gave me a hug and talked to me about my wife.
Focus on doing one or two things a day.
Look for an in person grief support group near you. Sue Ryder have a network of them.
Be kind to yourself.
No idea if any of this will help, but I truly hope it does.
Take care
Tim
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