Partner passed away suddenly 3weeks ago

My partner passed awayvfrom chocking on food i tried my best so did neighbours and paramedics but the damage had already been done by time paramedics got to us…my son saw pretty much everything and my daughter saw then hid away. I just keep thinking its a horrible nightmare but as the weeks go on its getting harder.we have the funeral soon and the kids want to see him before hand.i agreed becasue i didnt want the last thing they saw as there last memory so i wanted them to see him peaceful. But i went to see him and becauses they taken so long to get things sorted he just looks abit different to what i had hoped


@Cookie69 what an awful time for you. I can’t imagine having to deal with that.

I don’t think any of our loved ones really look like themselves after they’ve gone.

I think because i compared to when i visited my nan she just looked like herself sleeping.hes definitely kept me busy with things though

Sorry for your loss how awful for you all. Sending :pray::heart: to you all. It’s been 8 weeks since my passed very suddenly too and it’s so awful without them. I had no choice but to identify his body as he passed away abroad. I wouldn’t recommend it but we are all different.x

I am so sorry for your loss. I currently lost my husband about a month ago due to a very sudden cardiac arrest at 33. It took about a week for them to sort things out as he needed a postmortem, so I wasnt fully sure if I wanted to visit him at the chapel of rest due to this reason, but im so glad I went, he looked much more peacful than he did when he passed, but also a tiny bit of myself did think that he didnt look like himself, but I did find comfort. It depends how old your children are, mine are very young so it was out of the question for me, but I think if they are of an age where they understand then you could consider it, its such a difficult situation to be in. Take care of yourself x

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Oh my gosh so young so sorry…there was a age gap between me and my partner even though hes older i always thought hed outlive me im always the ill 1 haha…life makes no sense does it…all these horrible people stil living without a care in the world. My kids are 9 and 6 but they witness most of what happened as he choked on food at home but i couldnt get it out and it waa to late by time paramedics came but they kept trying and kept him on life support for an extra day

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Oh gosh cant imaging what you had to go through just the added stress of going abroad to identify him sorry

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We were on holiday had been there 9 hours. I literally thought he was joking as it was so quick. I had to stay with police, forensics and then coroner all within hours of him passing. Then go to a judge the next morning and chapel of rest in the afternoon where they offered to cremate him within 12 hours. I’m literally traumatised, it took 17 days to get him home and 44 days to get his official death certificate hence me being still off work.x

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Oh wow all seemed pretty quick with the whole after process i wish theyd have done it quick for us…i wanted him to look more like him when i visited but i guess the coronar took his time to agree with the docs n paramedics even though it was obvious…i dont get the logic in how it all love to be able to meet with everyone whos replying to me

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I wish there was face to face groups where people could talk like this group. I also wish there was a special resort where people like us could go for Christmas so we could get away from reality or go for a quiet chat if we need too.x


So sorry for your loss Cookie69. Your children are quite young , so i would be guided by your undertaker, who will advise if it is suitable for your children to visit him , bearing in mind the longer it is since his passing the more changes in appearance he will have . Thinking of you all xx

Yeh ive chose not to now.i can bare seeing him but hes slightly changed around his neck area so ive said no n told them they have to be 16

Wise choice, i would make sure each has a fairly recent pic of dad in their rooms , to remember how he looked in happy times. Hopefully they will eventually forget seeing him choking. Children are resilient i am sure this will help them . :smiling_face: