Hi everyone
I’m new to this site . I have no idea where to start …who to talk to or where to go for help and support
My partner of 24 years left my world 5 weeks ago and I am struggling… his birthday is second week of October and I have only ever missed 4 birthdays and 1 Christmas together in all that time
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Hello Char,
You’ve made a start simply by joining this forum. You can talk to us because we are all here for the same reason. We are the ones who can truly understand your pain. Here is where you can pour your heart out and know someone is listening. I hope you can gain some comfort from this site. Keep posting and reading.
I am so very sorry for your loss. x
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Hi, I’m new to this today as well. So sorry for your loss. My husband passed away in April, so I’m a bit further down the road. Hopefully, we will find some comfort from others in the same situation. Wishing you well xx
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Hello to you new people, and welcome. You won’t regret joining, I am sure.
I have been on here since July 2020, just after my husband, Tony, died. We had been together for 57 years and married for 54. We were really happy together.
What I am trying to get across is, this site, (mainly the people writing on it, of course), has saved my sanity. I have a brilliant and supportive family but I didn’t want to keep upsetting them. They adored Tony too and were devastated enough without an hysterical Mum to cope with too. so I wrote how I felt on this site instead of breaking down in front of them all the time. Within minutes, someone had written back, followed by others. After a while, I found that i was regularly corresponding with two particular ladies. (There is a place on here where you can message privately so that only the people you want to see it, will). To cut a long story short, I am still in contact with both ladies and have got particularly friendly with one of them. That early support from them both really helped me.
Since then, over two years have gone by and I have kept my promise to Tony and tried to make a new life. I still miss him like crazy and still cry for him at all sorts of odd times, but I am still breathing! . Obviously, I will never again be as happy as I was when he was here, but I have a contentment of sorts. Life does go on and I can laugh again, and enjoy what I am doing but it is definitely not as good as it would be if he had not died.
As for the site, I don’t feel the need to come on here as often now. Time has helped me cope. But I do dip in every now and again, especially if I have had a bad day. Someone will always hear and answer.
I have no idea if this waffle has helped any of you but I hope it has shown you that things will get more manageable, but you need you make a conscious effort to live some sort of life.
I knew Tony would want me to be happy and I have no doubt that your husbands would too.
Big hugs to all of you, Ann xx
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Contentment of sorts - wonderfully put and certainly not any “waffle” in your post.
These are encouraging words and things do become more manageable bit by bit.
G. X
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Thank you so much. It was so nice that you wrote.
Hugs, Ann x
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Hi Ann
Thank you for writing this message and I hope it will help those new members who have lost loved ones recently. It may show them that we do survive but the effort has to go into it.
I agree with every word, and now being in my third year I have learned to adapt. As you say the tears still come easily and doubt they will ever stop but we do learn to smile again.
xx
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