My partners dad died suddenly only yesterday. I packed him some clothes because he really needs to be with his mum and brother right now.
Seeing him in the pain he is in, is heartbreaking and I need to make sure I do everything I can do to support him through this huge loss whilst respecting his need for time and space.
Any advice from anyone who has unfortunately been in this same situation would be hugely appreciated.
Thank you
Partners dad died suddenly, want to support him through everything thats to come, advice appreciated
I am so sorry for your loss. All I can say is just be there for him and listen to him when he is ready to talk. Men if you are not careful shut down and won’t talk about how they feel which I don’t think is good. Take it hour by hour
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Just be there when he needs you, give him space when he needs space.
Hold him up when he needs holding up.
That’s all you can do… and don’t forget, you’ll be grieving too… so remember to look after yourself.
Maybe you can guide him and his family here if you think they’d be open to it at some point.
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Just what the good advice is from @MJG and @Scubadolly
Also if you google on line for supporting grievers there is lots of good advice from a host of good services.
And make sure you look after yourself too. Xx
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Men, like me, have a very bad habit of trying to be strong in a crisis, because that is what we think our role is.
In reality, we just wish someone would just come and sit with us, just talking, hugging, crying etc. Share the grief.
But dont tell us what we need to do, we dont want to know, not just yet. For me, knowing that people care was more than enough.
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@tykey I think this is so true for everyone, we dont want people telling us, we want people to listen when we have something to say, and be comfortable with silence because sometimes, just knowing someone is there, is enough…
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Practical help was invaluable, for me. My best friend didn’t ask me what I needed, she just delivered what she thought I’d need. She brought me and my family food. She came to the house and offered walks. She helped me plan my dad’s funeral. She came with me to view the venue. She appeared at my door on the day that my dad’s ashes were being delivered (it was a direct cremation). She told me that her phone would be on overnight and I could ring at any time. She took me to a GP appointment when I got a chest infection a couple of months later. 
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