I lost my Dad suddenly and traumatically to a brain haemorrhage 6 weeks ago. I’m still in shock. I cry all the time. I panic, can’t sleep, have palpitation and night sweats.
In a horrible twist of fate the same day my Dad died, my father in law was told his cancer has returned. He’s currently in hospital. I’m doing my absolute best to support my husband. But I am finding it so difficult to shoulder this new stress so soon after losing my own Dad. I haven’t told my partner how I feel, I am writing on here primarily to be able to vent and speak openly about it because I can’t talk to my partner.
His Dad is in the hospital that my own Dad died in 6 weeks ago. Thankfully my job is looking after the kids because I can’t face going to the hospital yet, I’ll be a mess.
I’m just so daunted and scared by the months ahead. We don’t know the prognosis for my father in law, he might be okay, but he might not. I feel the universe is so utterly cruel. I feel so heartbroken and helpless. I’m trying to support my Mum, my sister, and they support me too. But I feel like me and my partner are on different sides of a gulf because we are both too stressed and in our own grief or anticipatory grief.
I’m sure I’m not the only person to face this kind of concurrent difficulty. Just wanted to reach out and talk here as I don’t feel able to talk to many people about it, particularly as my partner is private about family matters and so I don’t want to go telling everyone we know his own family news.
Grief is so brutal. At a family friend’s house today and Dad would have been there and I just felt so desperately desperately awful that he’ll never be at these events. I can barely even stand to look at the word never because it’s too cruel and final.
Thanks for listening.
. Loosing a parent is traumatic enough in itself, I can understand why it’s too soon for you to ever think of going to the hospital, my mom died at home 3 years ago, so I have no choice, I have to go into the room where she passed, but when I’m at the house, I spent most of the time in my room because I can’t stand being in the room where she died. It sounds like your under a lot of pressure, juggling your own grief, looking after the kids, support with your family. Feel free to vent & unload on this forum as much as you need, there are always people who understand, & here to listen. I can understand not talking to your partner about how your feeling, my boyfriend still has both his parents who are in their late 70s, my mom died 3 years ago, aged 64, he doesn’t understand either, it’s easier to talk with people who’ve been through it. All I can say is take it one day at a time, & do what works for you, some people keep diaries, some people speak to a photo of their loved one, some make a scrapbook or memory box of them, in some areas there are also support groups, but it sounds like you have good support with your mom & sister. I agree with you, grief sux, but sadly that’s the price we pay for love. Sending hugs of support.