15.12.23 my tina lost a battle she thought she can win leukaemia got the better it’s not fair I no tina in no more pain x but now I am miss Tina miss you more then you will ever know .we never had that chance to grow old together do the things we said we would x talk to you every night how the days gone got to say babes I’m struggling x
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@Martin2 So sorry you’ve ended up here, so sorry for your loss. This is a good place you’ve come to, we’re all here for the same reason as you, we understand. Try and take some time to look around the site, read some posts. If you can, join in, it’s very hard at first but with some help things can get easier.
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I will try it’s .its the empty house empty rooms my hart aches I no we here to chat it helps a little then I go back wards again arrr
Hi, I lost my husband just over 2 wks ago now. He was 1yr post 2nd transplant for AML. He was doing okay but got an infection and I’m adamant that the doctors should have done things different. I know exactly how you feel! I’m completely lost all I want is him back and our lives to carry on like everyone else’s! We didn’t have children so I only have my dogs for company which isn’t the same as having Martin to speak to or hug. I cannot see any future for me without him. I trawl these sites looking for answers or someone to make me feel different but nothing. I just lie in bed day in day out wishing him back. No one should go through this pain. I’m only 44 and we had our lives ahead of us I’m truly broken. Can I ask how old your wife was? Did she have a transplant?x
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Martin love we’ve all been there. It’s almost three years for me and I don’t think I’ll ever get used to being alone. Although I have a loving family and friends once they’ve gone or you come back from somewhere on your own it’s still so sad 
I do at last realise he’s not coming back - I was in denial for quite a while so although it isn’t easier I have learnt to live along side my grief and know ir will always be part of my life. When people told me it does get easier I could have screamed but it does. So now just plod on one day to the next and gradually very gradually the fog will clear and it will get easier - baby steps.
Much love
Georgina
Hi Tina 11.11.63 hospital January last year a whole year mml.aml tow forms blood cancer Martina an martin so reduced to Tina every one new as Tina so many highs then too many lowe in hospital platelets blood transfusion Steroids got a glimmer of hope London hospital would take Tina on an tests for stem sadly sent back to qa Portsmouth arrr on the 8.12.23 was told there nothing more can do we sending you home to spend time with me an 3dogs. Broken harts battle has lost .i said will tina make it Xmas so we can have our last she replied yes 3days home tina seem to be ok 11. Had to phone end of life team they came out said she must go back in tears an more xx
Martin, I’m so sorry that you and Tina had to go through this. I absolutely hate Leukaemia!it’s such a cruel disease. We too have dogs which are a lot of company and if it wasn’t for them I do believe I would have tried to end my life as the pain of losing him and never having him with me again is excruciating. We have 2 Jack Russell’s, Romanian rescue called Mr Tetley and 2 beagles. Painfully we lost our first Jack Russell 4 days before Xmas. Which also broke our hearts. It doesn’t seem fair why I have to lose everything I loved. What dogs do you have? X
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