Have any of you been asked by extended family of your deceased spouse to give them items of his/her’s?
My husband was barely gone when his mother asked for his watch and a ring. My husband of 22 years never wore a watch and the only ring he had was his wedding ring. Regardless, I felt asking for these things (or any property) was a very cold and insensitive thing to do.
Have you received a request like this?
My sister in law has asked some of my husband’s clothes so she can have a memory bear made . I told her she will have to wait till I am ready to sort them out .
Unfortunately yes, before funeral, his brother has asked me to send him his brother laptops, assuming there is more than 1. I haven’t of course, I left his mobile, watch etc where they use to be. Not ready to clean it yet. Very insensitive and intrusive.
So void of compassion. Everything I read says “do not do anything. Don’t make changes, don’t promise any property or personal items to anyone, for at least a year”. I’m saying that when anyone asks for stuff.
Really mad!
My mum passed on Dec 1st and told me I could have a certain silver charm bracelet she had but my father has been a disgrace throughout the whole process of my mum dying and is now refusing to let me have anything let alone the bracelet. I have been treated like some piece of dog dirt on someone’s shoe. Grief isn’t a reason to be nasty with people but I do understand that some people need time and space to sort a person’s things through. The memory bear I read was a lovely idea hopefully the person will in time offersome clothes
I understand your grief maybe try to understand that other relatives are very upset too in a way I disagree with the comments about being insensitive as I’ve had lots of trouble myself in the past even with a will in place and people refusing to comply with them. If only people could be nice to each other be kind and fair grief is upsetting for all.
I’ve had someone want access to my dad’s laptop and then latterly ask if my husband could provide them with details of some website stuff my dad had set up for a community group.
For 1, I’ve already contacted someone at the community group saying I’ll send them stuff when I’m able.
For 2, it’s not been 2 weeks since he died and it’s literally been Christmas
For 3, I am an IT officer and am more than capable of providing said information (once I get to it). The audacity to think I’d give him my dad’s laptop and when that was a no to then ask my husband rather than me is incredibly sexist.
People are so weird