My dearest husband, of 45 years, died 34 weeks ago today. He had motor neurone disease, and died 7 months after diagnosis. I’m lucky to have a supportive family and network of friends, however, things have changed a bit. When someone now asks me how I am, they really do not want to hear the raw truth. I think this is because grief and loss are so enormous, and people are reluctant to hear what it’s actually like. People don’t want to hear about the crushing sadness, the feelings of despair, loneliness and the pain of it all. This is not because they are unsympathetic, but because grief lurks forever in the back ground, and who knows who will experience it next? So I say I’m " plodding on" which satisfies. At home, on my own, I have cried and keened and called out, and cannot be consoled, as there is no consolation to be found. I feel quite broken. I have lost my compass and anchor in life.
Hi @gardengirl
So sorry for your loss. It is all a bit of shock and heartache 
we are going through.
Our families and friends all have their own lives to get on with and sometimes we dont want them to worry about the pain and grief we are feeling. My husband passed suddenly no explanation just collapsed and didnt survive heart attack aneurism at 63 no previous symptoms so real shock but as i have found out on this forum lots of others have gone through similar experiences. Even when our loved ones are ill we are never prepared for them passing away
You are coreect it has made me think we dont know whats ahead or how long we have left. So life is too short and we rry our best to live whats left but it doesnt get any easier
Take care
Lynne x
Thank you so much. It is helpful to know that others are feeling just as grim. The days are getting longer and some of my Spring bulbs are peeping through. The world just turns.
Hi @gardengirl
I’m so very sorry for your loss - and what a loss it is for you
I’m only 2 weeks in to my grief journey and already people have stopped wanting to hear an honest answer to how I am so I can understand what you’re saying.
They get to choose to move on and forget, but we don’t and that is why we find our comfort amongst one another, I feel 
its 21 months tomorrow and i can honestly say in thats time no one has asked how i am getting on, how i am, nothing. peopl dont care any more, its not like it used to be yrs ago where people rallied round when you lost a loved one. even had one person from our church tell me a month after he died, that lots of people lose husbands, you get used to it x
Hi @SueF1
Yes thats what ive found.
Only 7 months.on no one asks how you are anymore. When it first happens they say if you need anything just call knowing that you never are going to do that. Now nothing like you say they exoect you to get on with your new life.
Its really not that easy 
Unless you lose someone you love and have spent most of your life together you cant know this gruef
Hello
I just read your post about your husband and what you say as some say or ask the wrong things I feel
So I say “ I’m battling on”
I don’t go into the battle unless they annoy me.
Or I feel I can open up to them
My wife died with MND too and had 30 months after diagnosis
That day we learnt I quit work immediately and became her full time carer.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and story
T