Lost my lovely husband 5 weeks ago. We loved walking and for my mental health I am still trying to walk in a local park. I noticed today that now I am walking on my own people don’t speak to me. The time when I would really appreciate conversation people don’t want to speak. Lonely as anything as I have no family only brother and inlaws who are all older.
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All u really want is a few words with avreal person
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It’s such a sad society we live in I think that people don’t say hello or just have a chat, sometimes that all you want. I have to admit since the loss of my son I find it easier to speak to strangers as they haven’t a clue about my circumstances.
no one has spoke to me to ask how i am etc for 18 months. i get the hello etc maybe on the bus ro in shop but thats just a norm. i am totally alone. i was never good at making friends and when hubby was housebound for yrs, i didnt bother. even the people who know he died dont speak.
I think i feel the same people just avoid.I did mentioned this to my doctor and she said its people want to give you space.
Oh bless you .its always nice when someone speaks to you on a walk .ive been feeling really lonely as my family are not local . I got a puppy 3 weeks ago .he will never replace my darling husband but he gives me something to focus on .sending hugs x
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Unfortunately there is giving space which we all need but people don’t seem to care anymore, such a sad society we are in.
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Hi
You are right to try to get out and about. I find that people with dogs are often ready to talk, if you ask about the dog!
Local libraries often have newspapers and coffee facilities. They are a good place to be around people. I volunteer at one, and it has been a great help since my partner died last year. The weather is a good topic at bus stops, too. I just say something about the weather, or the late bus, and often that leads to a conversation.
Or maybe volunteer at a lunch club, if you are ready. It’s worth giving things a go, I’ve found. The truth is, people do find it hard to know what to say if you are obviously down. So I try to be upbeat as much as possible. I realise it’s not as raw for me now, but I found early on that a short conversation on a different topic did perk me up.
I hope you find what works for you. It’s worth clutching at any straw of comfort - and every day that passes is a day where you are a survivor. Cheesy? Still true!
Best wishes
Sal
This is how I feel as well about society in that people just don’t care.
Do you mean that when you’re walking by yourself people are less inclined to speak to you that when you were walking with your partner or just in general people aren’t friendly?
I certainly find when I’m walking alone people don’t tend to smile or say hello, whereas my wife used to smile and talk to strangers all the time. Sometime to the point where a short walk would take for ever. She had quite the knack for striking up a meaningful conversation out of nowhere.
I have found walking with our/my dog people are more inclined to stop for a moment; I’ve got a very dopey, friendly golden retriever who is very good at getting lots of pats from strangers.
I do feel though I am walking in a bubble sometimes, that we are are oblivious to each others thoughts as we stroll on by.
Where I live people almost look alarmed if you say ‘good morning’. I found myself jumping when someone in the church garden said it. Most people seem happy enough when you keep walking but if you stopped I think they’d be wary. Having a dog used to help.